February 21st, 2006, 04:34 PM
Again just a few
jonny, a recent immigrant to the U.S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, "Run...run!"
The next batter connected heavily with the ball and our jonny stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un you lazy. R-r-run!"
A third batter slammed a hit and again jonny, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screamed, "R-r-r-un you lazy, r-r-run will you."
"The next batter`s count went to three and two. As the next pitch went outside the plate, he held his swing.
The umpire called a walk and our jonny stood up yelling, "R-r-r-un you lazy, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggled quietly and he sat down, confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispered, "He didn`t have to run, he`s got four balls."
After this explanation our jonny stood up in disbelief and screamed, "Walk PR-R-ROUD, man! Walk Proud!"
A young boy of six was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery.
On the day he was admitted his mother asked Dr. could you please circumcise him while he is asleep.
The Doctot agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days.
After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery.
The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are."
A group of men are sitting in a sauna discussing business and stocks when suddenly a cellular phone rings.
"Hi honey, are you at the club?"
"Honey you won`t believe this but I`m standing in front of Giovannis and there`s a beautiful mink on sale in the window."
"How much is it, dear?"
"They`re giving it away. Only $5000. Can you believe it?"
"But you already have fur coats?"
"Please dear it`s absolutely exquisite!"
"Fine, fine go ahead and buy it!"
"Thank you sweetheart. Oh, not to keep you much longer, I passed by the Mercedes dealership this morning and saw their new convertible. It was to die for! I talked to the salesman and the one in the showroom is brand new, leather seats, power everything, gold coloured. What do you think??"
"Honey, come on, we already have cars!"
"You promised me that I could get a convertible!"
"How much is it?"
"You won`t believe it but he said he`d let us have it for $85,000 fully loaded with all the options!!!"
"OK, OK, go ahead and purchase it!"
"I love you, you`re the best husband a wife could ask for. I hope I`m not pushing it, but remember our trip we took to Paris? Remember the Brown`s place with the swimming pool, tennis courts? It`s on the market to be sold. I saw it this morning at the Real Estate agency. If we bought it we would have a perfect place to stay during the cold winter months!!!"
"I had actually thought about it. You say it`s on the market?"
"Really, you were actually thinking about it? Can I go make an offer on it? You know it`s not listed very high, and It would be perfect for our type of lifestyle!!"
"How much is it listed at?"
"Only $425,000 sweetheart. It`s a steal!"
"I guess we`ve got money put away. Go ahead and make an offer but no more than $415,000."
"This is turning out to be a great day! Can`t wait to see you later tonight to celebrate!!!"
"See you tonight dear."
The man hangs up the cellular phone and asks, "So, who`s phone is this?"
CISSP, CISM, CISA, SSCP
*Thank you GOD*
Greater the Difficulty, SWEETER the Victory.
Believe in yourself.
February 21st, 2006, 04:39 PM
LOL... that's rrrreally cool....