Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect
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Thread: Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect

  1. #1

    Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect

    Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
    creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another
    snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can
    wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water
    park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You
    never have to drive to another gas station rest room because this one is
    just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to
    turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when
    you're talking to them. The occasional well rendered belch is
    practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
    feet. One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff
    about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the
    slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
    still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack. Three pairs of shoes are
    more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on
    your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
    years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your
    big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
    seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your
    nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
    growing a mustache..
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December
    24 in 25 minutes.
    No wonder men are happier.

    Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will
    enjoy reading it....

    _______________________________________________________
    You can't run with the big dogs if you pee like a pup

  2. #2
    Banned
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    Do you know how tough it is being a man...?

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

    If you work too hard there is never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

    If you cry, you're a wimp.
    If you don't, you're an insensitive pig.

    If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly lingerie, you're a pervert. If you don't, then you canít be straight.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
    If you don't, you're unromantic.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
    If you don't, you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.
    If you don't, you're not ambitious enough.

    If she has a headache, she's tired.
    If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

    NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN.......

  3. #3
    so overly stereotypical of the "western world" it is funny for its grossly inaccurate portrayal of men.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    unhappy: In the immortal words of Kesuke Miyagisan, "Balance is key".
    \"Greatness only comes at great risk.\" ~ Personal/Generic

  5. #5
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    Who's Kesuke Miyagi-san ?
    Definitions: Hacker vs. Cracker
    Gentoo Linux user, which probably says a lot about me..
    AGA member 14460 || KGS : Trevoke and games archived

  6. #6
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    In the immortal words of Jimmy Norton


    ... it's not rape, if they pass out first ...

  7. #7
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    I think we've all just figured out why unhappy is unhappy

    @ttitude, all that may be true....but I don't have to walk around with anything dangling between my legs distracting me all the time, so I'll take my list over your list any day!
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  8. #8
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
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    Deb:

    You are clearly mislead with regard to the function of the penis...

    It does not distract us... It can't possibly be distracting... because there is nothing else in our body that is capable of thought once we pass puberty... So how could we be distracted???

    Silly girl...
    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

  9. #9
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    ...I think you just made my point for me.
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  10. #10
    AO Ancient: Team Leader
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    Hey... Wait a minute... I didn't say my penis was smart did I????

    Jeez... Women... They look at a couple of Chipndales guys and think all men have big brains....

    Don\'t SYN us.... We\'ll SYN you.....
    \"A nation that draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards, and its fighting done by fools.\" - Thucydides

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