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March 3rd, 2006, 12:21 AM
#11
ROTFLMAO - Now that is funny!
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March 3rd, 2006, 12:35 AM
#12
What is the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.
Define confusion.
Father's Day in Paris.
What is the first thing you are taught when joining the
French army? To say, "I surrender" in German.
Why was Jesus not born in France?
Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Why don't the French like the fireworks at Disneyland Paris?
Because every time they go off, people start trying to surrender.
Why do the French eat snails?
It gives them speedier reactions.
When East and West Germany got back together there were
talks to relocate the capital city . . . back to Paris.
What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells
better.
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March 3rd, 2006, 10:53 AM
#13
http://www.antionline.com/showthread...hreadid=273325
Vive la France
My fav:
Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city street. One British, one American, one French. They all seem intent on mugging you. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Good day!
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March 3rd, 2006, 08:27 PM
#14
Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?
A. I give up.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A. Nobody knows. It's never been tried.
Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The French Army.
Q. Why was the Chunnel built under the English Channel?
A. So the French government could to flee to London.
Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?
A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind!
Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?
A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun
Q: Why is good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.
Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.
Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried?
A: There aren't any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.
An open letter to Chirac published in an Aussie newspaper:
Mon cher Jack
Je suis a bit fromaged off avec votre decision to blow up La Pacifique avec le Frog bombes nuclears. Je reckon vous must have un spot in La Belle France itself pour les explosions. Le Massive Central? Le Quay d'Orsay? Le Champs Elysees? Votre own back yard, peut etre?
Frappez le crows avec stones, Sport! La guerre cold est fini! Votres forces militaire need la bombe atomique about as beacoup as poisson need les bicyclettes.
Un autre point, cobber. Votre histoire militaire isn't tres flash, consisting, n'est-ce pas, of battailles the likes of Crecy, Agincourt, Poitiers, Trafalgar, Borodino, Waterloo, Sedan, et Dien Bien Phu. Un bombe won't change le tradition. Je/mon pere/ mon grand pere/le cousing third avec ma grandmere/la plume de ma tante fought avec votre soldats against Le Boche in WWI (le Big One). Have vous forgotten?
Reconsider, mon ami, otherwise in le hotels et estaminets de l'Australie le curse anciens d'Angleterre - "Damnation to the French" - will be heard un autre temps.
Votre chums don't want that.
Millo.
And to finish off, a little story of a worm and a rabbit..
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no b@lls. I'd say you must be French".
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March 3rd, 2006, 11:08 PM
#15
\"We\'re the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We\'ve all been raised by television to believe that one day we\'ll all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars -- but we won\'t. And we\'re learning slowly that fact. And we\'re very, very pissed off.\" - Tyler (Brad Pitt) Fight Club.
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March 3rd, 2006, 11:20 PM
#16
In all honesty, the only problem is that the French think that they are "French", and that Parisians think that they represent the nation.
Go to Normandy, Brittany, The Camargue..............Marseilles...................real people there folks
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March 4th, 2006, 05:45 AM
#17
Banned
Since it is only fair when you make fun of everyone. Here is a video I like.
http://www.funny-games.biz/orgasm-around-world.html
Nokia place close attention to the UK.
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March 4th, 2006, 03:33 PM
#18
Ah ha...You must be from Antartica...Welcome to AO///
PC Registered user # 2,336,789,457...
"When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats."
Claude Swanson
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