Engineers are the BEST boyfriends???
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  1. #1

    Engineers are the BEST boyfriends???

    Engineers are the BEST boyfriends

    ALL these ARE facts ni.. so.. here goes..

    Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle.

    An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.

    Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in a law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital. ---

    Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness.

    An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness=dh/dt.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear.

    Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'. Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.-

    Advantage 3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.

    Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate.

    Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

    Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. So girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer for your boyfriend!

  2. #2
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    On the subject of Engineers...which I happen to have several as co-workers :rolleyes

    Understanding Engineers - Take One

    Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
    did you get such a great bike?"

    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my

    own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike

    to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "

    The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably
    wouldn't have fit ."


    Understanding Engineers - Take Two

    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
    empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


    Understanding Engineers - Take Three

    A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
    guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
    The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
    him."

    Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
    aren't they?"

    The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters.
    They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
    always let them play for free anytime."

    The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think
    I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."

    The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
    buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

    The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


    Understanding Engineers - Take Four

    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

    Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.


    Understanding Engineers - Take Five

    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
    with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
    Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts
    degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


    Understanding Engineers - Take Six

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
    designers of the human body.

    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."

    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
    many thousands of electrical connections."

    The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
    toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


    Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
    believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


    Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

    An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
    better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

    The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
    foundation for an enduring relationship.

    The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and
    mystery he found there.

    The engineer said, "I like both." Both?

    Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
    spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
    work done."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Nine

    An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
    said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
    picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
    to the pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
    I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
    pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
    princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anythingyou want.
    Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
    girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

    These guys definately work for MS

    >Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  3. #3
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    here you go Mr Foxy

    More on engineers...since you liked it so much


    For those of you who know engineers, are engineers, or ought to be For those of you who know engineers, are engineers, or ought to be
    engineers.

    Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
    A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

    Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
    A: Their personalities.

    Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
    A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

    Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
    A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.

    Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
    A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map
    the wrong way.


    You might be an engineer if:

    You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.

    In university, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.

    The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your
    questions.

    At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.

    You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

    You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own
    handwriting.

    You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special
    effects.

    You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.


    You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

    You know what <<<< < <http://> http:// < <http://> http://> >
    <http://> http:// < <http://> http://> >>>>stands for.

    You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids toys.

    You see a good design, and have to change it.

    You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.

    You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.

    You window shop at Radio Shack.

    Your laptop computer cost more than your car.

    You've already calculated how much you make per second.

    You've tried to repair a $5 radio.



    Why engineers do not write recipe books...

    Chocolate Chip Cookies:

    Ingredients:

    1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
    2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
    3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
    4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
    5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
    6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
    7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
    8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
    9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
    10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

    To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
    overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add
    ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.

    In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller
    operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until
    the mixture is homogeneous.

    To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal
    volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add
    ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be
    taken at this point in the

    reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result
    of an exothermic reaction.

    Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the
    mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven
    for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank &Johnston's first
    order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

    Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C
    heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
    The scary thing is....I have actually done some of these things......

    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  4. #4
    Thanks for the advice MLF- I had no idea that my lack of engineering training was the problem.. I am rushing right out to sign for an engineering degree.....

    WAIT ONE MOMENT... Youre the devil trying to trick me.... The LAST thing I should be is an engineer........

  5. #5
    They call me the Hunted foxyloxley's Avatar
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    You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own
    handwriting.
    OMFG that is toooooo scary

    and I'm sitting here looking at a HUGE pile of ex power cords, that are here - just in case

    MLF :
    we MUST have met, and you ARE talking about me

    PS, nice shoes by the way
    55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
    OLDER yes
    Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
    come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone

  6. #6
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    What's the engineering solution to an uncomfortable bicycle seat?

    Uncomfortable bicycle shorts.


    I would always tease engineers that "It must be cool to have your job, you get to drive around in that big train and blow that big horn." Then when they tell me they aren't THAT type of engineer, I say "Well then I guess your job sucks."
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  7. #7
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    This is sooooooo me

    Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
    A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map
    the wrong way


    You've already calculated how much you make per second.

    You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room

    The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your
    questions.

    You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

    You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.

    You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

    You window shop at Radio Shack.




    PS, nice shoes by the way
    Likewise Mr Foxy

    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  8. #8
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    Understanding Engineers - Take Four

    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

    Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
    I'll have to tell this to a guy I know thats a mechanical engineer for Sigorski (he works on Blackhawks)

  9. #9
    Senior Member Cemetric's Avatar
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    The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions
    I'm actually banned in 1 store ... I was scaring the other customers

    I just love to taunt them with difficult questions ... I'm evil

    .C.
    Back when I was a boy, we carved our own IC's out of wood.

  10. #10
    And the original post has been posted before...

    But then again it's ok to re-post stuff a millions times, as it's always funnier the 100th time posted.

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