March 13th, 2006, 11:24 PM
A couple for the girls
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"
"The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife"
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said.
"I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Three men were sitting together in a bar bragging about how they had given their new wives their duties.
The first man had married a woman from Albania and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done. He said that it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Korea. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, the dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an American girl. He boasted that he had told her she was to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done and that he wanted hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.