March 16th, 2006, 12:12 PM
just my thoughts
Just my thoughts...
It’s to easy to offend someone else here in AntiOnline...
Someday, you’ll be having a good time posting and are posting answers to questions when you get a following reply that bluntly tells you that you have either insulted another member or they insult you because they were insulted. Then, the thread is hijacked and everyone is insulting and flaming each other. In steps a mod and threatens to close the thread if everyone doesn’t act civil. Now, everyone is angry at you and the mod! Maybe the thread is closed and/or deleted and all those words were worthless.
Or it maybe you’ve tried to answer a post to be helpful to the best of your knowledge and someone makes a reply that seems to be rude and offensive. Sometimes it’s directed right at you. Isn’t that hard to handle? Yes, but it is not impossible.
Maybe you have read these types of threads or maybe you have never, BUT please help AntiOnline because a better place for our visitors and members by remembering these few suggestions when posting...
FIRST, remember that it is very easy to misunderstand what someone is trying to say in their post. You can't hear the connotations inferred by the tone of their voice. That simply makes it harder to clearly understand what is written in their sentences. Neither can you see their facial expressions that would help you to understand their intended meaning. So, you may be reading something into their post that is not there.
Secondly, remember that this forum is broadcast all around the world and this forum has a diverse membership. The main language here is English. Even though a non-native speaking English person may well understand proper sentences, they may not know little about the idioms used by a native speaking English person. And there is a lot of different English being spoken. Let alone all the little shortcuts we take in our posts like no punctuation, nor capital letters, whatever. There are many cultures represented here and a “slip of the tongue” can cause confusion. (Or maybe that’s a “slip of the fingers”!)
Thirdly, remember that all members are all unique. There are sub-cultures inside of cultures, and many different beliefs and value systems. There are many different opinions, as you can well see when reading posts.
I know that you are all valuable members of AO, you need to remember the things listed above and use extra care in your posts. There is no reason to insult someone to get your point or your opinion across to them and others. When being insulting, your point is usually lost in the emotions that it stirred up.
It will also be good to give the poster a benefit of the doubt. They may be saying something in sarcasm, or they may be innocently stating something in a way that is not the way you normally say it. As stated in other posts, it is best not to ASSUME that everything is an insult. It is even better not to REACT to the post. Give yourself time to think, which also gives the poster time to make it clear what they are saying. Is it too hard to ask what someone means by a certain statement rather than flaming them for it? No, it’s not. If you’re not certain they are insulting, don’t answer back with an insult. If you are sure they are insulting, then report it to a mod for them to take action. Yes, if you think the inappropriate post is by a mod, report the post.
At first glance, one can hardly tell if the poster is being funny, sarcastic, or right down mean. Certainly there are some really mean people out there that have every intent to insult others and hijack threads. Their only purpose is to stir up the emotions of others and to get them to react. These people need to be reported in their posts and not answered. Please, don’t react and make yourself like them. They feed on your reactions, so don’t help them to grow with flaming of your own. There is no benefit to you to take offense and answer back. If you do take offense and you feel you must answer their post, take the time to think and don’t become a flamer by “slinging mud”, making “jabs”, “gouging”, or being mean as they were.
Please take care in choosing the words that you put in your posts. When we all think out our responses first, we will all find that the forum is a comfortable place to talk about anything. Being comfortable with our posts will also be fun and remove stress. This is not to say that one can’t kid or jest. This is to say that you do it in a way that others realize that.
In summation, please do not readily take offense. By no means, offer something offensive. Be civil. Treat all members with respect, the same respect that you should be offered to you. And you will enjoy your stay!
Why someone has to start insulting, cursing, blaming, yelling, taunting, flaming, etc. etc. etc. at another member . If you can't act civil, then don't post.
just my thoughts...