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  1. #1
    The ******* Shadow dalek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005

    European Threat to our computers

    I wasn't sure if maybe this should go in Tech Humour.....

    Like most things that are worth owning, Computers are an American invention. Look at any modern computer and you will see that the whole thing is the product of American brilliance.

    For example, this rugged IBM laptop I am using was designed and built by an American company. It runs software built by Microsoft, one of America's most productive organizations. My computer does everything I could possibly want: I can do my work, submit my taxes and even search the Bible.

    Like all the greatest American engineering, it's an example of innovation that makes a growing group of European and Chinese hackers jealous. They hate our lead in computing technology and will stop at nothing until they have control of all of our computers.

    I'm talking about a project called 'Linux', something you may not have encountered, but might do some day.
    It's a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group.

    Unlike Windows, which is a mature commercial product which is normally included with every new computer, Linux is given away. Now it may not sound like much of a problem, after all there is very little profit in merely giving a product away.

    This would be certainly true were in not for the Linux project's seductive Marxist ideology and the effect that it has on 'Blue-State' liberals. Indeed, Linux is so pervasive amongst the blue states and many liberal universities that a leading computer expert Steve Balmer (from Microsoft) described Linux as cancer.

    The American software industry is worth more than $7 Billion; Introducing a foreign product like Linux which is often copied for free could threaten that entire industry. A generation of computer users might get use to accepting foreign software hand-outs rather than paying for a superior American products. If only the danger were just to our economy:

    These days computers control everything from TV stations to battleships; Our crucial information and defense infrastructure is built on computer technology. If we allow this cancer into our networks, there is no knowing what the effect might be on our infrastructure, but that is just what liberals are trying to do.

    Imagine if the State of the Union address were hacked because the TV station decided to save money by using Linux? Imagine if a stealth-bomber crashed because it's software was written by anonymous Chinese or European hackers. It would make as much sense as inviting the French to come over and take over the White-House.

    And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

    If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

    Next time somebody asks you how Al Queda agents pay for their rifles and rocket launchers, you can tell them that foreign hackers make software called Linux which helps them steal from Americans.

    This Linux problem is a growing issue, and one that conservative Americans cannot afford to ignore. Fortunately Microsoft have prepared a great deal of information to help computer users get away from this menace. But there is something you can do to help keep American #1 in the computer business:

    If one of your friends is using Linux or may be tempted to try it show them this article. Explain that Linux is a genuine threat and that by using it they may be opening their computer to Chinese hackers.

    If you see a company using Linux, it may be that they have not paid for this software. Report them to the Business Software Alliance who have the legal authority to inspect any company's computers for illegal programs like Linux.

    Finally, remember to include Linux users in your prayers tonight. As individuals we may not be able to change people's minds, but the Bible teaches that God can make any sinner repent.


    It definately sounds too funny to be true, but there have been stranger stories....appears to be legit.....
    PC Registered user # 2,336,789,457...

    "When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats."
    Claude Swanson

  2. #2
    Junior Member TangledWeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    I don't post often, useually only when there's something I think may contribute but I cannot believe what I've just read, this has got to be a joke or someone is seriously misguided to say the least.


  3. #3
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    It's not accurate either.... The concept of Multi User design in an OS was made in England. It used actual hardware to decide between users but it still was invented there before UNIX got made here.

  4. #4
    They call me the Hunted foxyloxley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    3rd Rock from Sun
    It HAS to be 'humour'
    designed to drive people to the site
    attract attention
    get hits

    and as it made me giggle, it can't be ALL bad
    55 - I'm fiftyfeckinfive and STILL no wiser,
    OLDER yes
    Beware of Geeks bearing GIF's
    come and waste the day :P at The Taz Zone

  5. #5
    T̙͓̞̣̯ͦͭͅͅȂͧͭͧ̏̈͏̖̖Z̿ ͆̎̄
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Bill Gates is still writing articles is he?

  6. #6
    Leftie Linux Lover the_JinX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Beverwijk Netherlands
    I've seen the link on dutch linux irc yesterday.. We had a good laugh and decided it was a joke..

    If though she realy does believe what she writes.. even more fun

    I laughed.. I cried (from laughter) and I took another cup of coffee..

    Have a good weekend..
    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
    When in Russia, pet a PETSCII.

    Get your ass over to SLAYRadio the best station for C64 Remixes !

  7. #7
    The Prancing Pirate
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    get hits
    Definitely. What made me laugh even harder was that some of the comments were actually supporting the poster

    I hope that's a joke - for the sake of the poster! Lol

    That should go into the Guinness Book of Records for 'the biggest piece of bullsh*t ever written'
    TAZForum <---- click

  8. #8
    The ******* Shadow dalek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    It must be a massive joke, I found the pictures of Shelly....

    Shelly, if you only knew Dubya

    Definately should be moved to Tech Humour....Lol
    PC Registered user # 2,336,789,457...

    "When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats."
    Claude Swanson

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    For example, this rugged IBM laptop I am using was designed and built by an American company. It runs software built by Microsoft, one of America's most productive organizations.

    I think I remember hearing my Linux professor saying something about how some of the higher-ups at IBM prefering Linux to Windows.

    And on a side-note, OH NOES!1 Linux defrauds Disney!!!1

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2004

    Bill Gates is still writing articles is he?

    ...But.... the article sounds too smart to be written by bill

    ohh wait it sounds too DUMB...... I think you are rights its Bill again
    Parth Maniar,

    *Thank you GOD*

    Greater the Difficulty, SWEETER the Victory.

    Believe in yourself.

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