May 23rd, 2006, 06:03 PM
New gov't seal
Sorry I couldn't resist.
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
- Samuel Johnson
May 24th, 2006, 12:20 AM
Well that clearly explains the House's efforts to quickly pass "The Condom Protection Act"! If approved, this act will provide multi-fiscal year funding for a sub-committee to monitor for any flaccidness, to provide for adequate growth within, and establish a contingency plan in the event of a catastrophic failure. Opponents to the act insist that it contains too much pork to handle and are unsure if the current regime can put it to proper use.
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