Metal Explained [NSFW]
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Thread: Metal Explained [NSFW]

  1. #1

    Metal Explained [NSFW]

    Metal Explained [NSFW]

    HEAVY METAL
    The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and ****s the princess.

    POWER METAL
    The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

    THRASH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ****s her.

    FOLK METAL
    The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.

    VIKING METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

    DEATH METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, ****s the princess and kills her, then leaves.

    BLACK METAL
    The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

    GORE METAL
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, ****s the princess and kills her. Then he ****s the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he ****s the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ****s it for the last time.

    GRIND METAL
    The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

    DOOM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

    GOTHIC METAL
    The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidentally scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

    PROGRESSIVE METAL
    The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the protagonist.

    INDUSTRIAL METAL
    The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

    SPEED METAL
    Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are
    still looking for the one who did this.

    CHRISTIAN METAL
    The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

    GLAM METAL
    The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

    BATTLE METAL
    The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

    NU METAL
    The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

    EMO
    The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, he gets eaten. The princess
    is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.


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  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    3,914
    I just wanted to say that I want my 2 minutes back... So they take real types of Metal... that was humerous... then they had stupid non-existant types of metal... but the stories are humerous... then they take emo..which is is a faction of punk originally not metal... so that just goes and ruins it... someone with a metal fetish that just happened to also want to take a shot of emo... btw this is me regaining my two minutes by trashing the "joke"
    IT Blog: .:Computer Defense:.
    PnCHd (Pronounced Pinched): Acronym - Point 'n Click Hacked. As in: "That website was pinched" or "The skiddie pinched my computer because I forgot to patch".

  3. #3
    Your post was more funny then my post. What a way to Post hijack Ht.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    3,914
    Originally posted here by .:front2back:.
    Your post was more funny then my post. What a way to Post hijack Ht.
    I Try
    IT Blog: .:Computer Defense:.
    PnCHd (Pronounced Pinched): Acronym - Point 'n Click Hacked. As in: "That website was pinched" or "The skiddie pinched my computer because I forgot to patch".

  5. #5
    Originally posted here by HTRegz
    I Try

    Don't try to hard, you need to save some funnies for latter on.

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    3

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