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Thread: 50 Things Females cannot do.

  1. #1

    Talking 50 Things Females cannot do.

    1. Know anything about a car, other than its colour
    2. Understand a plot
    3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message
    4. Build a shed
    5. Throw
    6. Run
    7. Park
    8. Fart
    9. Read a map
    10. Rob a bank
    11. Resist IKEA
    12. Sit still
    13. Tell a joke
    14. Play pool
    15. Pay for dinner
    16. Sleep without wearing underpants
    17. Piss out a train window
    18. Argue without shouting
    19. Get told off without crying
    20. Get ready in 5 minutes
    21. Walk past a shoe shop
    22. Let their body hair flourish
    23. Not comment on a stranger's clothes
    24. Use small amounts of toilet paper
    25. Let you sleep off a hangover
    26. Be happy with their bodies
    27. Get in a round
    28. Throw a punch
    29. Do magic
    30. Like your friends
    31. Enjoy porn
    32. Be on time
    33. Get to the point
    34. Buy plain envelopes
    35. Take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
    36. Sit in a room for 5 minutes without saying "I'm cold"
    37. Go shopping without phoning 20 friends
    38. Dive into a pool
    39. Assemble furniture
    40. Form a rock group
    41. Set a video recorder
    42. Not try and change you
    43. Watch a war film
    44. Understand why flirting results in violence
    45. Spend a day by themselves
    46. Go to the toilet by themselves
    47. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket
    48. Choose a video quickly
    49. Get drunk gracefully
    50. Avoid credit card debt

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  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Re: 50 Things Females cannot do.

    Lol! I thuroughly enjoyed that list! The great thing about gender cliches is that usually they're very spot-on.

    Originally posted here by .:front2back:.
    22. Let their body hair flourish
    ..and thank the heavans for that--or societal scrutiny; whichever!
    \"Greatness only comes at great risk.\" ~ Personal/Generic

  3. #3
    there's nothing wrong with that european look.

  4. #4
    AOs Resident Troll
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    pfft.......

    I would kick your butt in 8 ball

    while drinking you under the table..and buying the next round..and telling a good joke

    I dont text message

    MVP for 5 years...2nd base....because of repeated double plays...and my solid throw to first

    and I am AOs resident witch......so magic is innate

    I didnt buy the honda accord V6 because the salesman said"what do you need a car like that for" so I went to Toyota and got the v6 camry......why.....because of the engine....and all the options


    I have no problem parking my sweeties Dodge Ram..

    .....and can read a map....and fold it


    I pee off the boat...havent tried a train yet

    and have paid for dinner many a time

    I sleep in my birthday suit...and while in bed can give the best dutch oven when required.....while reading and comprehending my latest novel

    never robbed a bank ...or built a shed....dont have an ikea here...and I hate shopping..dont use a purse...only for fancy doos

    My ex loved me hairy

    I like watching porn with my sweetie...gives me all kinds of ideas

    i have been told I am a bitch...I get right to the point.......dont need to shout

    I like my friends..time to myself...diving into the lake.....and smacking someone when required..

    I am a stickler for being on time...and can get ready faster then my honey

    what other kind of envelopes are there

    cold...at my age..the warm flashes...I welcome the cold

    I read instructions well...and can assemble a computer...is that furniture??

    I can install networks and servers......so video machines are a cinch

    Played in a rock band for ten years....moving and setting up gear

    I love war films...enemy at the gates is one of my favs

    Dont have time to change other people.....if I dont like you...youll know

    Dont need anyone to help me with the washroom thing...and why the hell would you hang out in one?



    MLF

    If I forgot some...I am distracted...trying to watch the fricken hockey game
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  5. #5
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    Thank God MF. I didn't have the patience to list one by one how stupid that list is, but you've done a fantastic job.

    My husband uses at least twice as much toilet paper as I do. I swear I think he makes paper hats and boats out of it while he's in there.
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  6. #6
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    oO. Sounds like someone got hit alittle close to home, lol. I jest, I jest! Come now ladies, it's all in good fun. No need to beat the war drum.
    \"Greatness only comes at great risk.\" ~ Personal/Generic

  7. #7
    AOs Resident Troll
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    LOL debs.....hats...boats...hahahahhaha....


    oO. Sounds like someone got hit alittle close to home, lol. I jest, I jest! Come now ladies, it's all in good fun. No need to beat the war drum.
    Its all in jest evil moo

    MLF
    How people treat you is their karma- how you react is yours-Wayne Dyer

  8. #8
    Senior Member Spyrus's Avatar
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    I think I am going to try and sink one of these so called boats next time I get the chance
    Duct tape.....A whole lot of Duct Tape
    Spyware/Adaware problem click
    here

  9. #9
    PHP/PostgreSQL guy
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    Haha, pretty good list and I'm definitely glad that my woman doesn't meet a good portion of those. She can't walk past a shoe store, but one of her pet peeves is watching other women have to be escorted to the bathroom with at least one other friend in tow.

    "Why the hell would you need company in a BATHROOM STALL? I don't want some so-called friend watching me go to the bathroom or be able to see how my landing strip looks!"

    When she commented on that, I about died from the audacity, haha!
    We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do just about anything with almost nothing.

  10. #10
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    Originally posted here by Spyrus
    I think I am going to try and sink one of these so called boats next time I get the chance
    I assume that's what hubby is doing - making targets.
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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