If microsoft made cars
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Thread: If microsoft made cars

  1. #1
    Senior Member JPnyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005

    If microsoft made cars

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated , "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments , General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part, esp 7th point):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  2. #2
    Senior Member linuxcomando's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Well, they were using Microsoft to run war ships so.......... why not cars!!!!
    I toor\'d YOU!

  3. #3
    Senior Member JPnyc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    That would explain all the friendly-fire incidents.

  4. #4
    Senior Member PacketThirst's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    lol.... reminds me of the movie Southpark: Bigger,Longer and uncut. I loved the way they grilled Microsoft.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Yeah... umm... This is extremely old and has been floating around the net for years now...
    I am the uber duck!!1
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