I can help you, but it's going to cost you some of that porn.
Just do a clean reinstall without formatting. It will overwrite everything necessary for the install, and nothing more. I did it that way when my Windows 2000 Pro box died on me. I upgraded to the server edition on a clean install. Everything worked fine. All of your personal settings will be gone, such as your desktop and start menu configurations, but that's not a big deal. Those only take about 5 minutes to fix (and that's if you're a slow worker). Your registry will also be toast, so you will have to reinstall (or repair) all the programs you have installed. Once again, not that big of a deal. The whole process should only take a couple hours, and half of that will be snacking while you wait for the computer to do its thing.
Another thing you can do is forget that Windows crap and install a real OS.
