thank you for the suggestions guys. i think i may have found the answer though, after doing a lot of digging at the d-link site, they provided the following information for opening aim:


AOL Instant Messenger
Please read http://support.dlink.com/faq/view.asp?prod_id=1239 for complete FAQ and screen shots.

For chat, you do not normally have to open any ports. If you are experiencing problems, follow the steps below:

Step 1 Open a web browser and enter the IP address of your router (192.168.0.1). Enter admin for your username and then your password (blank by default).

Step 2 Click on the Advanced tab and then Applications on the left side.

Step 3 Enter the following information:
Under Trigger, enter 4099.
Under Incoming Ports, enter 5190.

Step 4 Click on the Enable box.

Step 5 Click Apply and then click Restart to save your changes.

For File Transfer:

Please visit http://support.dlink.com/FAQ/view.asp?prod_id=1239 for complete FAQ.

NOTE: If you are experiencing problems when transfering files with AIM, make sure that you have the latest version of firmware on your router and the latest version of AIM.

Step 1 Verify that you are connected to the internet and sign on to AIM.

Step 2 Click on My AIM, click Edit Options, and then select Edit Preferences.

Step 3 Click on File Transfer and then click Firewall.

Step 4 Select Outgoing, and AOL proxy server and click OK.


hopefully that will help anyone else in the future. not sure why this info is so hard to find, and not even provided by aim in the first place.