At a world brewing convention, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conference.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, gimme a Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt. Give me ein Becks, ya ist der real King of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward: "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon. Tanks."

All, including the bartender, stare at him in stupified silence with mouths hanging open! Eventually Bruce squeaks out: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy simply replies: "Well, if you fookin' pansies ain't drinkin', then neither am I."

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Being of Irish decent, I have to wear green, but it looks good on me.

And don't forget to drink your green beer!

Hope you're wearing green!