but less than a handful are actually worth anything
See, now I'm with Cybr1d on this one. I would hate to see you dump NOD32 for AVG. As Cybr1d also stated, NOD32 always rates top (or near top) on most AV comparisons. It's a very good product from what I have read.

Also, based on its poor track record, I'm not too quick to push free AVG. If free is what you want, AntiVir seems to get the best results of free AV's (but it does have one ugly GUI).
To date, I still don't get the whole free AV bit. If it's a means to protect your system until you get some cash to buy a good product, ok. But as a final solution?
Break down the numbers of most paid personal AV solutions ($40-$60) to purchase, and ($20-$40) for renewals, and here's what you actually pay (per day): 11-16 cents for the first year, 6-10 cents from then on (at current pricing, NOD32 would cost you 11 cents per day for the first year, then 8 cents per day after).