What did your mom teach you?

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished
cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen
then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have
wonderful parents like you do!"

THANKS, MOM !

So u can do and know: appriciate a job well done, iron, religion, time travel, logic, foresight, osmosis, contrionism, stamina, weather, solve physics problem, hypocrisy, the circle of life, behaviour modification and envy. And you taught me that moms are very useful. :-)

LMAO, that is SO true...

My Mother taught me not to talk to strangers
Now I am an IRC Addict.

Oh i for got my mom taught me:" Chew the pricles (maybe spelling mistake) before gulp down them". It shows old :-) .

Check out THIS thread.

LOL@Conf1rm3d_K1ll.. So true, so true ;)