The Queen Mum.. She won us the waaa!
I recieved this via email, I read it and thought it was kinda funny.
Myself, as a British citizen, I'm not really sorry about her demise, she was 101 and lived a life beyond our wildest dreams, lucky (dead) ex-queen!
Anyway, onto the funnies...
>Genuine Excerpts from The Board of Remembrance for the queen mum:
>
>"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our
>very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York
>in the face".
>L.Ward, Mansfield.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did.
>Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the
>rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
>A.Christie,Hendon.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are ****"
>J.Clement. Grantham.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
>D.Holmes, Somerset.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
>visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
>the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the
>Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
>fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later
>though, it was sickening".
>B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
>Penrith.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the dayoff".
>S.Wilson, Bristol.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
>family without being accused of being homosexual".
>J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
>experiment with drugs".
>E. Franks, Cheshire
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".
>T.Watson, Ilford.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around
>The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
>Y. Howell, Slough.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
>should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her
>mother?"
>W.Waugh, Richmond.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
>K. O'Neil, Inverness.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
>public duties".
>N. Wallace, Swansea.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible
>event"
>E. Thompson, West Lothian.
>---------------------------------------------------------
>
>"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"
>P.McGregor, Southampton.
>---------------------------------------------------------
>"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels,
>jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk
>past her coffin".
>R. Thompson, Bath.
>---------------------------------------------------------
>"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again
>until her majesty is buried"
>E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
>---------------------------------------------------------
>"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
>R. Combes,
>Romford.
>---------------------------------------------------------
>"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
>smile. Just like a retard"
>G. Hollins, East Sussex.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
>kind,
>so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know its
>not
>true' she said, 'you don't smell of ****'. She was a wondrous person".
>E.Collier, London.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
>G.Williams, West Midlands.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated
>insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
>us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".
>L. Weller, Harlow.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless
>bastard!"
>J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>"She had such a difficult life, always battling against
>adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round
>she is given a life of privilege and comfort"
>T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
>---------------------------------------------------------
[glowpurple]They made me giggle[/glowpurple]
;)
[pong]101 Years Old, you can't Complain at that! ![/pong]
