Famous Quotes....

I was browzing through www.slad.net (as usual) and i bumped into this post..

1. "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
* Author Unknown

2. "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirablejob. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
* Jeff Foxworthy

3. "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams

4. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
* Dave Barry

5. "What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
* Marilyn Pittman

6. "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
* Bob Ettinger

7. "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teachyou how to swim."
* Paula Poundstone

8. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men." I just want to say to the authors of that study: "huh?"
* Conan O'Brien

9. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Goodness.... I could be eating a slow learner."
* Lynda Montgomery

10. "The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner."
* Roseanne

11. "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
* Richard Jeni

12. "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." * Johnny Carson

13. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
* Paul Rodriguez

14. "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law."
* Jerry Seinfeld

15. "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
* Warren

16. "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
* Oscar Wilde

17. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
* Mae West

18. "Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But I repeat myself."
* Mark Twain

19. "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
* A. Whitney Brown

21. "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne

22. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal

23. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
* Dave Barry

24. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
* George Carlin

25. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Lewis Grizzard

26. Advice for the day: If you have a lot a tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
* Author Unknown

27. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There 's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
* Drew Carey

28. "We feel PAIN just to know that we are still ALIVE!"

* Author: ME!

lol.. damn that quote reminds me of my commanding officer.. First Sargent Lamparaz.. hahaha *shivers..*

Here is my quote.

I don't tell my enimies all their faults... I certainly don't tell them the faults that work in my favour..

but then there are a better class of enemies out there..

This was fun reading , thanx sonic , Any link to the post or just the website u saw it on?

the world is full of kings and quees that blind your heart and steal your dreams, tell you black is really night, the moon is just the sund at night, its heaven and hell

Nobody will ever let you know,
When you ask the reasons why.
They just tell you that you're on your own,
Fill your head all full of lies.

--Black Sabbath