Kids Say The Darnest Things
Rember that show ? Bill C. does a version of it now and its a laugh a minute
I found a website with some funny little things for humor bout kids, feel free to read
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as
fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let
me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As
she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and
fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She
got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As
she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me
either!"
=======================================================
A little girl became restless as the preacher's
sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her
mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money
now, will ! he let us go?"
=======================================================
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord,
if You can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm
having a real good time like I am!"
=======================================================
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about
their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they
give him $50." The second boy
says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, &! quotI got you both
beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to
collect all the money!"
=======================================================
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't
have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she
didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
=======================================================
An elderly woman died last month. Having never
married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service,
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
=======================================================
A police recruit was asked during the
exam, What would you do if you had to arrest your
own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
=======================================================
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just
before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is
it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
========================================================
A Sunday School teacher asked her class
why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A
small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
========================================================
A Sunday school teacher was
discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year
olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy
answered, "Thou shall not kill."
========================================================
At Sunday School they were teaching ! how
God created everything including human beings. Little
Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the
week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were
ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny
responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going
to have a wife."
Source
