Technical Writing and Computer Terminology (Humor)
I'm hoping to get some green points, even though people have probably seen these two before.
If Doctor Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals...
If a packet hit a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.
You can't say this?
What a shame sir.
We'll find you,
Another game sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
If your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause sure as I'm the poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
If the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your MOM.
Computer Terminology for the illiterate
486
The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art
Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete
Any computer you own.
Microsecond
The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error
"Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
GUI ("gooey")
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip
Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Keyboard
The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer
Hard Drive
The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Portable Computer
A device invented to force business people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User
Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System update
A quick method of trashing all of your current software.
