New definitions (too funny!)

The Washington Post's Style invitational asked readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.

Cashtration: (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very, high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a totally serious bummer.

Decafalon: (n.) The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit: (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug: (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: (n.) The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and
an *******.