Three Tough Mice!

Not really tech related, but...
It is about mice.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night, trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the first mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I'm on my way home to have sex with the cat."

LMAO aeallison, that was totally good! Can't you just see these 3 mice, cartoon-style, shuckin' their s#1t at the bar... damn, i'd like to cartoon-ize that and put it on one of my websites, it'd be worth a laugh every time you played it. i'll have to dig into my file and see if there's one there that can come close. :) Oh, yeah, this sad frog goes to the psychiatrist for lovelorn frogs, right, and sez; 'doc, i just can't seem to get a date, none of the girls will gimme a kiss when i tell them i'd turn into a charming rich prince and all that stuff, can you help me?' 'Yeah, frog, gimme yer palm and i'll read it for you. ... Hmmmm, i can see the most beautiful girl you've ever seen in your whole life, you'll meet her next year and she's gonna want to be very intimate with you.' .......'Really??!! wher's this gonna happen, at a beach party, or in the privacy of the woods?' ...... 'No, actually, it'll be in her 3pm biology class...' :D

For the sake of a name, lets just call him Abe...

All of his life Abe was a very thoughtful and courtious man, he always opened doors and pulled chairs for the ladies, and to him chivalry was not dead. Abe was never a very religious man, nor was he a church goer, he developed his respect for the lord through his own devices.
When "his day" was upon him, he was ready to pass on to be another of the dearly departed.
He "awakened" to visions of his past, the "now", and what "is to be". Soon a friendly and regal man stepped into his view and reached out his hand as if to beckon him forth. Abe new that this must be St. Peter, and his judgement had been decided. He was going to heaven. He asked St. Peter if heaven was all it is cracked up to be, he said, "if it is all angels and cherubs floating on clouds and stuff, I won't be happy." St. Peter just stared at him and smiled, and again beckoned him forth. Abe by now was kinda worried about his eternal place in heaven, he told the gatekeeper, "My dream of eternal happiness is a simple one, I was never married and I died a lonely man, all I ask is for it to be like that", he points down at Hell to a man sitting on a beach with a beautiful girl on his lap and a beer in his hand. St. Peter gave him a puzzled look, and said to Abe, "Look closer friend, that beer can has a hole in the bottom, and that girl don't"

Thats rather comical. This one is a bit long, but its worth it.

Bill Gates in Afterlife

-from Annoyances.org

Good one.Just goes to show,being small shoudn't discourage you.
regards
v/man:)