Bastard system admin form Michigan 3
Well guys, first, i wanna say Merry Christmas to you all, i hope you all have an awesome day, and, here it is:) the Bastard system admin from Michigan part 3, i worked on this one a lil bit longer so i hope you guys love this one and enjoy it like the others :)
BASTARD ADMIN FROM MICHIGAN
#3
Written entirely by: gore.
8:00 AM: Damn I’m tired!! I need to stop at the store on the way home and get coffee! I’m just pulling in the parking lot at work. Amazing, 3rd day and so far one person has been fired each day for pissing me off, I think the other lusers are learning to leave me alone, I walk in and go straight to the employee lounge and take the coffee machine, I think they would rather deal with no coffee than ME with no coffee.
8:30 AM: Well the coffee is done, the people here use 3 scoops in the machine, I just used 7, I think this should do for now. The fone just rang. Oh goody, I’ve been here 30 minutes and already a problem! I answer and of course it’s someone asking for more free space. What do I look like a system admin or something? I tell them if they buy me lunch ill tell them a “secret” command that gives them free space, they agree and I wait till lunch.
10:00 AM: I leave for lunch with luser and spend all his money at a restaurant, as were driving back he asks me about the command, I tell him, whenever he needs more free space, just type in del *.* and he will get a bunch, him having no idea what that is says ok and thanks me. I get back to my office and realize I forgot to turn off the battery charge I have hooked onto my doorknob, I step over 3 lusers to get inside, they really should leave me alone.
1:00 PM: the fone is ringing AGAIN!! Another luser asks why they cant check there e-mail, instead of saying because I did for you already and replied to all of them I say “Well today is Wednesday, It’s the middle of the week so the sun is higher up and so it’s warmer outside and it makes the net slow down and to try checking there mail tomorrow” After I hang up I realize a luser has somehow gotten into my office and listened to the hole thing I just said, they look at me in horror and ask “Isn’t there anything we can do about this?????” I answer, yes there is, take the case off your computer while it’s still on and pull out the ram card, then after that put a magnet over the hard disk, that way the extra heat is moved around better. They look at me and smile and say ok, I’ll do that right now. This I gotta see! I follow closely behind them and they actually do it!! The boss walks by and asks what the hell is going on and luckily I made a tape recording earlier of me saying NO DON’T DO THAT YOULL RUIN IT!!!!!!!!!! I tell the boss I think the luser went insane; the luser of course tries to say I told him to do it and I whip out the recorder and play it. The luser looks at me like a deer in headlights. The boss tells the luser he won’t be receiving his raise next month because he’s paying for the computer to be fixed.
2:00 PM: I’m bored, after killing every person online in Unreal Tournament and Resident Evil, I decide to have fun, I write a small script that runs around the network and randomly deletes accounts of people typing my name into an e-mail with the words “*******” or “dickhead” before or after.
2:05 PM: Well that didn’t take long, 4 lusers called to say they cant log into the network, I ask them for there usernames and say I’ll work on it. I check out the accounts from back ups and make sure I grab some personal info form each one, after deleting them from the back ups I look up to see one of them looking at me and before I can even say knock on the door next time, they decide to yell “HEY ******* I CANT LOGIN LEARN HOW TO DO YOUR JOB” Oh, that’s a death sentence. I say in a nice voice yes sir, I’m working on it now, I hit the switch to power up the deadly doorknob and ask them to come back later, they reach for it and I think the hole building flickered as he lit up like a Christmas tree. I hit the switch back off knowing people will be in soon to see what happened. Sure enough the boss runs in and asks me what happened and I say well I was working on something and he came in and must have grabbed a loose wire or something. The police come and take the body, they don’t seem to have a sense of humor like mine as I’m blaring and singing along to gimmie gimmie shock treatment by the Ramones. Oh well.
4:00 PM: As I’m getting ready to leave the boss says I’m doing great but he wants to hire a helper for me so I can actually have a vacation sometime. What? Me? A vacation? Ha-ha! Yea right, I’m the bastard system admin from Michigan!
Will the bastard system admin from Michigan get a helper? Tune in next time readers to see how this turns out for our hackin’ hero!
