Project managers v programmers
(In honour of my recent qualification I thought I'd post this).
At the height of a really busy project, the project manager, the hardware engineer and a software engineer decide to take a walk down the beach. In the sand they see a glint and on investigation find a small brass lamp.
Jokingly they rub the lamp and are amazed when a genie jumps out:
Genie: "Hi there, normally I'd give you three wishes but since there's three of you I'm afraid it's just one wish each."
The three look at each other and smile.
Hardware engineer: "Okay, I want to be a millionaire on a tropical island with seven lingerie models, all of whom adore me."
Poof! The engineer is gone.
The software engineer goes next: "I want to be a billionaire, on a yacht, with 25 lingerie models, all of whom adore me."
Poof the software engineer is also gone, leaving the project manager and the genie alone on the sand.
The project manager grins: "I'd like them both back at their desks after lunch."
If you liked that one.....
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude."
"You must be a programmer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a project manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
