(nontech)How to tell men from women

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Charlie, Dave
and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,
Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each
throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1
for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not
be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. -Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats. (If you do this with my cats - you'll get a kick
back from me!)

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will
dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in
his house.