The Obnoxious Parrot

A man gets to his seat on a plane, and is surprised to find a parrot strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes around, and the man asks her for a coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks: "And get me a whiskey you cow!"

The stewardess, somewhat flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot, but forgets the coffee. When the man points this out to her, the parrot immediately drains the glass and yells "And get me another whiskey you bitch!"

Quite upset, the stewardess, shaking, returns shortly with a whiskey for the parrot, but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man decides to try to the parrot's approach: "I've asked twice for coffee, cow, go and get it or I'll give you a slap!"

In a couple of seconds, two burly stewards grab both him and the parrot, take them to the emergency exit and throw them out. As they are ejected from the plane, the parrots turns to the man and says "You know, for someone who can't fly, you a lippy bastard!!"

nice, very original one, may have heard it before im not sure but nonetheless still very funny

Yes, very good. I hadn't heard that one before.

Will have to make sure I don't sit beside any parrots :-D