Your'e A Street Machiner When:
**The emissions test guys start laughing as soon as you pull into the bay
**You can't drive your car in the rain
**Your missus is afraid to drive your car
**You are afraid to drive your car
**Your missus won't even ride in the car
**You spend more on tyres than on food
**Your council decides not to re-pave your street with that new rubberised ashphalt because you've already "done such a good job of it"
**You spend more on car insurance than on house payments
**Your insurance company has to create a whole new actuarial table to cover you and your vehicle
**You have never argued with your wife over making the mortgage payment or buying that new set of headers while they're still on sale
**You see a picture of your car taped to the bulletin board at your local police station
**Your local council has passed an ordinance making it illegal for you to even enter a school zone unless you are on foot
**Traffic advisories are issued whenever your car is spotted during peak hour
**Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you
**You have speed shops on your telephone speed-dial
**You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to work
**You refer to the intersection at the end of your streets as Turn 1
**You get pulled over doing 120 in a 60 but the cops will let you go if they can look under the bonnet
**News footage of cops chasing you is used as a training video for the highway patrol
**Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car
**You need parachute braking
**There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighbourhood at 6am
**Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened
**You wear earplugs in your car
**You find out that stock side mirror's don't hold up at speeds exceeding 240km/h
**Your exhaust pipes are a larger diameter than your driveline
**Your fuel pump cam be used to water a golf course
**Your engine idles at 2800rpm
**You don't know 20L/100km is appaling fuel economy; in fact, you aspire to it
**The local airport complains about the noise coming from your garage on Saturdays
**The fire brigade has showed up at your house because alarmed neighbours reported smoke billowing from you garage
**You believe ABS and traction control only take the fun out of driving.
