This is something funny!!!
Tech Humor
COMPUTER HELP CENTER
A woman called the Canon help desk, about a problem
she was having with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under
Windows." The woman responded, "No, my
desk is next to the door. But that's a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window, and his is working just fine."
**********
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and
escape keys at the same time. That
brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the
Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
**********
The following conversation was overheard in a
computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large
variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my
computer?"
**********
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom, to
fax the document back to the sender when
I was finished with it. He said he needed to keep it.
**********
Customer in computer shop: "Can you copy the
Internet onto this disk for me?"
**********
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone
calls that start something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
**********
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the
Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the
Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."
**********
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to
reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said
before. I crashed my spaceship and now
it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do
that?"
*********
I got a call from a woman who said that her laser
printer was having problems: the bottom
half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry.
It seemed strange that the printer was smearing
only the bottom half.
I walked her through the basics, then went over and
printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I
asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to the
printer.
As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out
and showed it to me.
I told her to wait until the paper came out on its
own.
Problem solved.
**********
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's
DeskJet division for about a month
when I had a customer call with a problem I just
couldn't solve. She could not print yellow.
All the other colors would print fine, which truly
baffled me because the only true colors are
cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a
combination of cyan and yellow, but
green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow
printed fine except for yellow.
I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the
customer delete and reinstall the drivers.
Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they
offered no new ideas. After over two
hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the
customer to send the printer in to us for
repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try
printing on a piece of white paper instead of
this yellow paper?"
**********
A man attempting to set up his new printer called
the printer's Tec support number,
complaining about the error message: "Can't find the
printer."
On the phone, the man said he even held the printer
up in front of
the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.
**********
And another user was all confused about why the
cursor always moved in the opposite
direction from the movement of the mouse. She also
complained that the buttons were
difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when
we asked her to rotate the mouse so
the tail pointed away from her.
**********
This guy calls in to complain that he gets an
"Access Denied" message every time he logs in.
It turned out he was typing his username and
password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use
lower case letters."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my
keyboard."
**********
My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a
quiet afternoon.
He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of
the workstations with her arms crossed
across her chest, staring at the screen. After about
15 minutes he noticed that she was still in
the same position, only now she was impatiently
tapping her foot. He asked if she needed
help and she replied
"It's about time! I pressed the F1 (help) button
over twenty minutes ago!"
It was on http://www.eastland.net/tech/tech_humor.htm
