Memo: OBL To: Team Mates Subject: The Cave
MEMORANDUM
From: Bin Laden, Osama
To: Team Mates Subject: The Cave
Hi guys,
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together
as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster
that says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the Garfield that says "Hang
In There, Baby." Very humorous. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave. We want to
avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) so we need to
sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...........have
you? I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the
halal toaster).
Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background or keep
doing the 'Wassup' thing. Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea Slices
were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance
ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball game. Please do not chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" every time I ride past on the donkey.
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
Love you lots,
Group Hug.
Os.
PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets.
Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.
