Just a few funny jokes i came across
Take Me Lord
Little Johnny came home from school to find his pet parrot dead, with it's legs in the air. His mum explained how the parrot had died with his legs pointing up so God could grab him by the feet and lift him up to heaven.
A week later Johnny went up to his dad and said: "Mum nearly died today."
Puzzled, his father asked what happened.
Johnny replied: "Well i came home from school and saw mum on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling: "God i'm Coming!" and if it wasn't for Uncle Bob holding her down, we would have lost her for sure."
*************************************************
One Hell Of An Engineer
An Engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon the engineer get's dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Things are going great. We'vegot air conditioning and flush toilets and escaltors. There's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies: "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there. Send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff and i'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or i'll sue."
Satan laughs and answers. "Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?"
