Alright alright I did it. I started this 20 minutes ago and It's pretty much done. Maybe I'll do another one I'm not sure. Anyway, tell me what you think:
The Hacker Horror Series
Written by gore.
Root, Bloody Root
So there I am working on my Terminal when my friend comes over. "Dude I got this Spultura CD!"
Big deal, I've had it for 10 years.
"Have you heard this song?"
He opens my CD player and I hear the opening guitar wriff too Blood Rooted.
I kind of giggle thinking how Gore means blood and how many people I've rooted over the last hour in my next big plans.
"What are you doing gore?"
I'M WINNING THE ****ING DEMOCRATIC VOTE! I'm working on a way inside this machine you ****ing dolt.
"Damn, cranky today? Here, I got a refill of Vicodin, you can have it"
WOOT!
"Dude, are you running Gentoo?????????????"
*Sigh*
No, this is Free BSD. I know you can't see a difference until I do this:
uname -a
"Oh wow! who knew"
"What exploit are you using?"
None, I rely on Magic and Networking too caugh out what I want.
Now shut your mouth for a minute.
"OK"
*Picking up phone, finger hacking it too appear too be calling from somewhere else*
"Hi, this is Dade Murphey in the IT department, how are you today sir?"
Well that's great too hear! The IT department has been working hard to cut some costs of our own! Which brings me too my question and reason for calling. I have a new budget lined out which should save arounf 300,000 or so in OS costs, and I'm implementing a tests system into the production servers right now too see how well it will work against a real load. Should save a lot of money but I want too be sure before making the switch. Now I understand you were given a little red book with a list of user names and password lists in case something ever happened, and I just need too know a few of them that say "root".
Well Sir I'm currently going to have a couple users log in and I just want too be sure this new kit is stable. I know the IT budget was somewhat bad again this year and I'd like too try and help if I can.
OK can you repeat that last password for me please? OK thanks sir! I'll have this tested in no time and get back to you with a savings estiment OK? Yes Sir, thank you, Bye now! Have a Good Day!
"Dude if you were anymore full of **** your mouth would need a handle for flushing."
Oh shut up and turn the recorder off. It worked didn't it?
"You're a Bastard"
Really? Now what's the point in calling the Bastard sys admin from Michigan a Bastard really now?
"What are you trying too root anyway?"
It's some research facility. Appreantly they made the Dead walk.
"Dude what the hell are you trying too screw that up for?"
OH ****! I'M IN BUT I ACCIDENTLY SHUT DOWN THE SECURITY GATES SERVER!
"DUDE WE COULD ALL DIE!"
Buahahahaha, you stupid ****, you'd fall for anything.
"*****"
... ****. I actually did this time. Hmm. Oh well
"Do you hear a siren?"
Yea, it seems too be coming from that way
"I'm turning the news on!"
OK
"DUDE THE ****ING DEAD ARE COMING BACK TOO LIFE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
WHAT THE ****?
"LOOK!"
*On the news*
The Dead have returned too life, and are seeking human victims. It's hard enough for us too believe this but it does seem to be a fact.
Hmmm, oh well, turn my CD Player on.
*play*
NP: The Misfits - Night of the Living Dead
"Damn you have a ****ing sadictic sense of humor"
Oh well.
"I'm scared I'm going too try too run home"
Whatever
"DUDE THE LIVING DEAD ARE OUTSIDE! WHAT THE **** ARE WE GOING TOO DO!"
Don't you have Morphine for your back?
"Yea"
"DUDE THAT WON'T SAVE ME, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS I'M OUT OF HERE!"
*Takes a razor too the wrists and shoots himself with my gun*
Hmmm, that blood won't come out, I guess I better turn the VCR off, it was hard enough trying too get Jenny too play a reporter on the news. Now where did he put that Morphine. AHH, HERE IT IS! I should have told him I made all my Windows in my room TVs and played Dawn of the Dead... Na **** it.
*Grabs Morphine, turns off VCR with tape of Friend Jenny playing a reporter, and stops screen saver on Free BSD box*
Buahahahahahahha
I am 138.
