Be Forewarned !!!

Not sure who the original author is so I can't credit him but...


It may be too late for you to heed this Install problem without a huge,
expensive work-around, BUT OTHERS MUST BE WARNED!!!!!!!

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention
of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the
documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be
expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at
system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's
finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and
PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the
system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At
installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of
undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release.
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the
option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other
system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would
allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by
sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.

Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You
must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long
standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of
Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they
would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The
uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving
undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that
sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying
messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

***** BUG WARNING ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before
uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the
uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming
insufficient resources.

*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system
and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also,
beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry
viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under
an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally
be downloaded from the UseNet.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

Be Forewarned cont...

Important Warning for Men

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local
pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

A date rape drug on the market called "Beer" is used by many females to
target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and
is
now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles,
cans and from taps and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them.
Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units
of
Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers,
men
will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking
women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking Beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly
what
happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that
"something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's
savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be
shrewd
enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of
servitude
and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is
administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim
to
this insidious Beer and the predatory women administering it, there are
male
support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the
details
of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly
affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the
yellow
pages.

The Real Story Behind the Jack Schitt...

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!