90-year old man

A wealthy 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better...I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?" The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver." The doctor said, "My point exactly."

Three men: one American, one Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone I have a microchip in my hand."
Paddy felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as
impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse. The others raised their eyebrows. "Will you look at that" says Paddy, I'm getting a fax."