When We Are Older...

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3 . 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.


SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!



Thoughts for the weekend

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk."

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen a sleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's
what he said..

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live
forever.


But Most Of All, Remember !
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive,
Comfortable, And
Always Close To Your Heart!

I am terribly sorry @tt!tud3 old chap but you need a little "edjumication"

"OLD" is when:

1. You can remember submitting your programs on punched cards and waiting three days for the "syntax error" message to come back on 14.5" pyjama paper.

2. "Hello World" hadn't been discovered, you were still converting Farenheit to Celsius and detecting the prime numbers between 1 and 10,000 using a flint hand tool.

3. You now use your 80 column punch card job decks, for book marks and grocery lists.

4. You can remember when there were no viruses, no worms, no internet, no trojans............but there were "foxes" and "rabbits" ;)

5. You remember the double airlock, the degaussing strips, the no aftershave/perfume or nylon clothing rules..............................got to put your hand up to check?

And so on...................



:p :D