The Female Gorilla And The Kiwi

The Female Gorilla And The Kiwi

Melbourne Zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very horny and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.

The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available to service her.

While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery.

Rick, like most Kiwis, had little sense, but seem to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.

Rick was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?

Rick showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Rick announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions:

"First," he said, "She's so ugly; I don't want to have to kiss her."

"Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."

The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition?

"Well," said Rick, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

{ Recieved Via Email }

The Pope was diagnosed as dying due to a lack of sex ..........

The cardinals all gathered and decided that to save the Pope, he would have to have sex.
They gathered at the Popes bedside and put their decision to him.

The Pope beckoned them forward, and said that he would go alomg with their plan, but there were three conditions:

1 - She had to be blind - so she would not be able to recognise him

The Cardinals agreed that this would be done

2 - She had to be deaf - so she would not overhear if anyone spoke the Pope's name.

the cardinals agreed that this, too, would be done

The Pope lay back, resting.

And for the third request Holy Father ? enquired the Cardinals.

Oh yes, said the Pope.

3 - She must have BIG **** and be wearing kinky boots :D

I always knew the pope was into that kinky stuff. :D

nice one foxy..

f2B