Quotes & Ridicules

Hey all,

I was surfin the web looking for some tid bits for my signature, and came across a number that i laughed at and as always, cant choose between them. Then i thought i would share some of these with you too.

Hopefully you will all have some favourites ;)

Cheers

CTO

Quote:

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"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
" 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"
quoth the server, 404."

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Quote:

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"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

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Quote:

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"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

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Quote:

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Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

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http://www.comedy-zone.net/quotes/Sc...computers3.htm
http://www.geek24.com/g/2006/06/13/a...omputer-quotes
http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/computerquotes2.shtml

QOTD:
"I'm on a seafood diet -- I see food and I eat it."

-a nice one for geeks in their signature-
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs
19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to
get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank.
-- Matt Welsh

Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs.
-- Lily Tomlin

Information Center, n.:
A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is
to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

Any program which runs right is obsolete.

Would the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights?

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.
-- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June 1972

Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must
be good because the programmers hate it so much.

I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
-- Lawrence Foard, [email protected]

The next person to mention spaghetti stacks
to me is going to have his head knocked off.
-- Bill Conrad

"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."
-- J. Finnegan, USC.

Naeser's Law:
You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

Xerox never comes up with anything original.

KERNEL:
A part of an operating system that preserves the medieval traditions of sorcery and
black art.

i get most of those from the fortune program, there are dozens of them.

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. "
"How do I set a laser printer to stun? "

How bout the all time classic quote?

"640k is enough for anyone"

or, any number of quotes from places like bash.org

"BRB, getting savaged by a awild bear that just came in through the window oh god the pain"

Well, any real quote from bash.org would likely have poorer spelling and punctuation but you get the idea.

I can't recall the precise details of this, but the video is on you tube and it is HILLARIOUS. The guy who put ctrl-alt-del in first is on a talk show with Gates. Basically he says it was put in as debugging. So, heres a great one perhaps:

"I [whatever his name is] invented Ctrl-alt-del, but I guess its really Bill Gates that made it famous."

Look it up some time, I can't because of the darn internet filter right now.

a couple more:

"In the computer world there are two ways to solve
a problem; the wrong way, and the UNIX way."


Linus: I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow. Maybe
we should think only about today.
Charlie Brown:
No, that's giving up. I'm still hoping that yesterday will get
better.


"Sometimes, the only way to get a program compiled is to comment it out."

I'm not sure exactly where I saw this but it's Linus Torvalds commenting on SCO saying Linux is stealing from them:

"They are smoking crack".

Nice one gore! and they won't tell us who deals for them :(

One I liked was:

"He approached the project with all the enthusiasm of a C++ programmer for systems documentation" :D