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The first time I interact w/ a strange male, it's always a game of push and pull to see where each other stands. Determine the playing field, what can we discuss with equal interest? Then it comes down to who can dominate the conversation, in public anyway. The thing that pisses me off is that a lot of women can interact in the same ways, they know how the game works, they play it with their girlfriends, but they don't and cry lack of leverage b/c those guys that give us a bad name like to use their 'physical presence' as a chip to intimidate women.
To some extent, this is true, women do play the same game. However, what you're going to find is that 9 out of 10 women in computer-related fields aren't your "typical" female. Most of us have always had mostly male friends, and have little in common with the women we interact with. Not to say we don't have female friends, but we don't know how to play the game with women. However, when you get into a learning/working environment, the "buddy" relationship we've had with men isn't the same, and we don't know how to play the game with men or women, and it leaves us in an awkward position. Actually I guess every place I said "we" I should have said "I" because I shouldn't presume to speak for all women, but I have a feeling that a lot of the women here will agree with me to some extent.