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I can see both sides on this one....GG made an innocent post to spread some smiles amongst us....greenies for her good effort. When you get right down to it, most comedy is gonna be offensive to someone. My hat's off to you for being woman enough to stand up and apologize for an offense you didn't mean.
Preacherman saw something he believes in, something he loves and takes very seriously, degraded in a manner he found offensive. He stood up for what he believes in, so he gets geenies too. Keep up the faith, Preacherman!
Each and everyone of us has a right to our own opinion, along with the right to express it. But we don't have the right to flame off and get nasty just because someones beliefs differ from our own, and thats exactly where it looks like we are heading. Thats my rant...I'm done now.
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Here is something my friend on MSN wrote to me... I believe in god, however I do not believe in religion.. but I'm not sure if this is even a "RELIGION" post, or just to discuss the joke. This is kinda of funny too. I'm not sure where she got it from. I'll have to ask her.
>>> All of this was taken from an MSN conversation.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Let me EXPLAIN the problem science has with Jesus Christ" (u're right... but listen). The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes, sir."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"So you believe in God?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Absolutely."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is God good?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Sure! God's good"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Are you good or evil?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"The Bible says I'm evil."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. YOu can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes sir, I would"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"So you're good..?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"I wouldn't say that"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could.. in fact most of us would if we could.. God doesn't."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmm? Can you answer that one?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young fella."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is God good?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Er.. Yes."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is Satan good?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Where does Satan come from?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
THe student falters. "From .. God"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes, sir."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Who created evil?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer[
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
]*
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible thigns - do they exist in this world?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Who created them?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" .. THe professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Suddenly, the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "how is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Pause.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is God good?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you seen your Jesus?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No, sir. I have not."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[No answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Answer me, please."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"You're AFRAID.. you haven't?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No, sir."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yet you still believe in Him?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
".. yes.."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, restable, demonstrable protocoi, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
[The student doesn't answer]
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Sit down, please."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian sits.. Defeated.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is there such thing as cold?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"No, sir, there isn't."
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The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very still. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat, or not heat.. but we don't have anything called 'cold'.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, other wise we would be able to go colder then 459-
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
458*
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Silence. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Is there such thing as darkenss, professor?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
darkness*
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at..?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"So you say there is such thing as darkness?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes.."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the *absence* of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.. but if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness isn't it?
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
That's the meaning we use to define the word.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you.. give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error..."
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The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? how dare you..!"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The class is all ears.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Explain.. oh, explain.." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddently he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
THe young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such thing as immorality?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Of course there is, now look.."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as justice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such thing as evil?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God.. if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
What is that work, God is accomplishing?
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Bible tells us to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice: as a realist. I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going." the Christian replies. "Newspapers making billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
THe professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"I believe in what is- that's science!"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
"Sir, you have rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed.."
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"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
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The class is in uproar
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
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The professor wisely keeps silent.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The class breaks out in laughter.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christan points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain..
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?"
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
No one appears to have done so.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
The Christian shakes his head sadly. "it appears no one here has any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever.
Hey Mr DJ .. keep playing my song says:
Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocoi, scienc, I DECLARE that the professor has no brain."
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The class is in chaos
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The Christian sits.. Because that's what a chair is for.
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<<<<
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Quote:
Originally posted here by exxteck
tough subject. but the Bible holds strong to what it says and all the facts support it. no security holes or flaws in it. my 2 cents.
you're kidding right?
(George Carlin Rocks!!!! :D :D :D )
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That was pretty cute Tuefel, could go a few more rounds though. . .heh heh, the prof coulda cut off the top of his skull and provided the empirical evidence they needed. . .funny though.
Oh yeah, if your still checking this thread jehnx. . .I'd like to say thanks for putting your name by your ap's. . .but if you go back through the posts in this thread you will see preacher went first, then 5150, and then me. . .nothing wrong with my post, maybe not the best show of humour, but hey, it's mine, right. . .I tought the Carlin stuff was hysterical, specially the anthem/prayer, and after reading his rants, and then preachers. . .I typed what I thought and added to the thread. . .that's all it was. . .a single post, no debate. . .in fact the debate didn't start until one post later. . .but, I see, even if I didn't mean it as goofing fun. . .you're allowed to post your opinion at AO, you just have to be the first one to do it in a thread, right??
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Hey George a very logically put up words. But religion is a very personal matter, it should be always left with an individual.
