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How is someone without a clue what being ready is, supposed to know when they are?
Out side of the obvious negative aspects which can never happen to them, obviously. How about the emotional trauma one experiences with young sexual relationships? When you have sex with someone you care about, you bond with them totally, or at least one side does. Then comes the inevitable "lose of a loved one", a bottomless hole in your being that seems like it'll never heal. The younger one is, the more times this is likely to happen. It doesn’t take too many times before ones emotions become hardened, there buy making all of life seem hard. In loosing ones innocence the brighter side of life goes with it.
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How is someone without a clue what being ready is, supposed to know when they are?
Out side of the obvious negative aspects which can never happen to them, obviously. How about the emotional trauma one experiences with young sexual relationships? When you have sex with someone you care about, you bond with them totally, or at least one side does. Then comes the inevitable "lose of a loved one", a bottomless hole in your being that seems like it'll never heal. The younger one is, the more times this is likely to happen. It doesn’t take too many times before ones emotions become hardened, there buy making all of life seem hard. In loosing ones innocence the brighter side of life goes with it.
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Tedob1, I at one point would have agreed 100% with your post. I still agree with your question about know when one is ready. But, the rest my oppinion has changed on.
The hardening of heart is a defense against and not a response to. After one gets burned enough times, they hesitate ever to reach out again. This is simply illogical, by knowing the past we cannot predict the future. It is simply human weakness, we all feel this way, just some are better at fighting it than others... If it were a response to getting burned, the effects would be un-removable, no one would be able to get better, it would be like a little emotional-odometer, so much mileage and your engine just ceazes forever, which is how it most definately feels.
For a considerable amount of time, I was miserable, then I realized that I was just in highschool so it was supposed to be miserable. Then I got to college and nearly had a breakdown, at which point I realized that I was still holding onto the past far too firmly. Now I am about to leave college, and I wonder how I will deal in France for a year, and then in the possible 5-7 years until I have a PhD. I think I will deal a whole lot better than I did.
Of course, I say this, and then recieve an e-mail from someone from my past which I thought had welded my heart shut and then thrown it in a blast furnace... Digital karma???
Lifes to short to mull over past sufferings, instead of moving on.
So I am completely purplexed about what to say to her..., the reference about her British boyfriend leaves a sour taste in my mouth... One would think that someone would be happier seeing as he has a girl already anyway, so why is a love from 5 to 2 years and 1 year ago stressing him out.
Anyway, gotta go. Oh and about that article, it is a rather spurious correlation to say that the younger the loss of virginity the less stress. It would be more likely to look at it from a social perspective and say that the forces that bring one to have sex at a young age are the same ones that lead to a less stressful life style. Of course, were they testing people from agricultural sectors where younger marriages are typical? Or just white middle-class where keeping ones viriginity is seriously a confusing issue, as most things lead one to want to lose their virginity, but a large majority of society is pushing one not to.
The study is sloppy in my oppinion.
Ciao,
Dhej
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Tedob1, I at one point would have agreed 100% with your post. I still agree with your question about know when one is ready. But, the rest my oppinion has changed on.
The hardening of heart is a defense against and not a response to. After one gets burned enough times, they hesitate ever to reach out again. This is simply illogical, by knowing the past we cannot predict the future. It is simply human weakness, we all feel this way, just some are better at fighting it than others... If it were a response to getting burned, the effects would be un-removable, no one would be able to get better, it would be like a little emotional-odometer, so much mileage and your engine just ceazes forever, which is how it most definately feels.
For a considerable amount of time, I was miserable, then I realized that I was just in highschool so it was supposed to be miserable. Then I got to college and nearly had a breakdown, at which point I realized that I was still holding onto the past far too firmly. Now I am about to leave college, and I wonder how I will deal in France for a year, and then in the possible 5-7 years until I have a PhD. I think I will deal a whole lot better than I did.
Of course, I say this, and then recieve an e-mail from someone from my past which I thought had welded my heart shut and then thrown it in a blast furnace... Digital karma???
Lifes to short to mull over past sufferings, instead of moving on.
So I am completely purplexed about what to say to her..., the reference about her British boyfriend leaves a sour taste in my mouth... One would think that someone would be happier seeing as he has a girl already anyway, so why is a love from 5 to 2 years and 1 year ago stressing him out.
Anyway, gotta go. Oh and about that article, it is a rather spurious correlation to say that the younger the loss of virginity the less stress. It would be more likely to look at it from a social perspective and say that the forces that bring one to have sex at a young age are the same ones that lead to a less stressful life style. Of course, were they testing people from agricultural sectors where younger marriages are typical? Or just white middle-class where keeping ones viriginity is seriously a confusing issue, as most things lead one to want to lose their virginity, but a large majority of society is pushing one not to.
The study is sloppy in my oppinion.
Ciao,
Dhej
