not too funny
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not too funny
Go ZeroOne!!! Keep it at the top!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
oh, behave ;)
1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin
unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore
helmets.
5. Do you think illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet
soup?
6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more
specific.
7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you,
but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but
anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea
where she is.
10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I
lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands
there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form
of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are
OK, then it must be you.
12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if
you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your
laundry isn't your biggest problem.
13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they
tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my
wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the
walls.
14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede
jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that
jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now
I'll have to kill you too."
15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter
Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and
the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
those are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY too LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired.
"Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
See look! KorpDeath's was funny AND short!
Go you!
--PhirePhreak
boo :)
sorry, that was a bit long
with red sun rising over smokey skies,
one must say their pained goodbyes..
our systems shot, all substances gone,
we return to our homes, our minds long gone..
the way we feel on this morn,
the aching jaws, the unsettled stomachs,
too much we cries... but twas too late...
our bodies begin to retaliate..
minds reeling from the noise and light,
paranoia sets in, parents start fights
where have you been, what have you done
you look like ****, I hope it was fun...
and fun it was, but now its just pain...
Strangely tho, can't wait to do it again....
By Me.... Why? Coz I can... :eek:
Poor Matty :( I hope you get feeling better :)
I'm feeling better already.... :confused: No wait... I don't... excuse me...
:sick: