Quote:
Transporter
It would be great to be able to beam your molecules across space and then reassemble them. The only problem is that you have to trust your coworker to operate the transporter. These are the same people who won't add paper to the photocopier or make a new pot of coffee after taking the last drop. I don't think they'll be double-checking the transporter coordinates. They'll be accidentally beaming people into walls, pets, and furniture. People will spend all their time apologizing for having inanimate objects protruding from parts of their bodies. "Pay no attention to the knickknacks; I got beamed into a hutch yesterday."
If I could beam things from one place to another, I'd never leave the house. I'd sit in a big comfy chair and just start beaming groceries, stereo equipment, cheerleaders, and anything else I wanted right into my house. I'm fairly certain I would abuse this power. If anybody came to arrest me, I'd beam them into space. If I wanted some paintings for my walls, I'd beam the contents of the Louvre over to my place, pick out the good stuff, and beam the rest into my neighbor's garage.
If I were watching the news on television and didn't like what I heard, I would beam the anchorman into my living room during the commercial break, give him a vicious wedgie, and beam him back before anybody noticed.
I'd never worry about "keeping up with the Joneses," because as soon as they got something nice, it would disappear right out of their hands. My neighbors would all have to use milk crates for furniture. And that's only after I had all the milk crates I would ever need for the rest of my life.
There's only one thing that could keep me from spending all my time wreaking havoc with the transporter: the holodeck.
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