Help! VIRUS!!!

Not cool.. I'm coming down with a bronchial cough.. my lungs are.. messed up as it is.. so it is not very fun.. How do I kill the virus? I mean.. do I have to eat some anti-virus software? Seriously.. science has proven that the human body is actually a computer, comprised of hardware AND software.. that's where medicine comes in.. certain medicines.. reprogram your system to do something else.. Well.. I need some hints.. my universal cure is Chinese food.. but... I am broke.. so.. it looks like I'm gonna be sprinkling cinnamon on my tortias*...

*refer to "Recipes" post

(Virus):shootem:

Well, chicken noodle soup works for me. But the best thing is a home-made remedy that I came up with all by myself! Here's the recipe:

3 tsp. tomato ketchup
4 tbsp. honey
3 oz. milk
4 oz. orange juice
1 medium piece of parsely
3.5 cups water
1.5 cups chopped almonds
3 mint leaves
2 tsp. vanilla extract (or imitation)
4 cups flour
4 tbsp. powdered sugar

Mix all the ingredients in a blender. Blend until no chunks remain. Pour into large pan, so that it is about 1.5" deep. Bake (convection bake is even better) at 350 degrees F. Remove from oven and allow to cool for 15 minutes. Refrigerate for one hour. Remove from refrigerator and serve immediately. (To whoever you wish, but I would never really eat this). After the damage is done, heat up a bowl of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. Consume hastily, and head to bed. Sleep for 8.25 hours. Repeat as needed.

I hope this has helped some. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavour to GET WELL SOON! For whatever you may think its worth, I'll be praying for you.

God bless.

**DISCLAIMER-- PhirePhreak makes no guarantee of the effectiveness of the above instructions. Do not use the above instructions for illegal or immoral purposes. If you use the above instructions, PhirePhreak is not held in any way responsible for your actions, injuries, death, and what have you. And don't forget, friendship is like a barrel of monkeys.**

That sounds nasty as hell, I wouldn't want to even smell that crap. But try this

Hey just go to the store, get some Vick's vapor rub, sleeping pills, and nasal decongestient. Mix it all together and eat as much as you can. Once you get to the hospital you will get your stomach pumped and ask for a **** load of morphine. Repeat until feeling better. lol.

Um... I think I'll just order the Chinese food...

It's the thought that counts, right?

Get Well Soon!

:sick:

moonshine and lots of it!!!!!:drink:

Take 2 ibuprofin, wash it down with a beer, get some sleep.

You can't go wrong chasing nyquil with some sort of hard alcohol....may or may not cure you , but you wont be awake to care

Are you trying to get drunk or cured or both?

Go for both :D

Hmm.. I was shootin' for getting cured.. but I do have a nearly full bottle of Rumple Minze here..... I got it! Chinese food AND Rumple Minze....

If it don't cure ya, at least you won't care. Win-Win d00d;)