something to fresh'n'up your mind and soul......

this is for all...sometimes we all get very bored doing some tidious job or anything...and we definetely need something to read which leaves us thinking or laughing....
so here it is just read it :-

>1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall
>out.
>
> 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
>
>
> 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
>any more than
> standing in a garage makes you a car.
>
> 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for
>natural stupidity.
>
> 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick
>the one you've
> never tried before.
>
> 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room
>with a glance.
>
> 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion
>that life is
> serious.
>
> 8. It is easier to beg forgiveness than get
>permission.
>
> 9. For every action, there is an equal and
>opposite government
> program.
>
> 10. If you look like your passport picture, you
>probably need
> the trip.
>
> 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the
>speed of checks.
>
> 12. A conscience is what hurts when all your
>other parts feel
> good.
>
> 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
>
> 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
>Deal with it.
>
> 15. No husband has ever been shot while doing
>the dishes.
>
> 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>
> 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
>narrowness of
> the waist change places.
>
> 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
>coming.
>
> 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and
>throw away three
> weeks before you need it.
>
> 20. There is always one more imbecile than you
>counted on.
>
> 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables
>you to recognize
> a mistake when you make it again.
>
> 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they
>move the ends.
>
> 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy
>refrigerator.
>
> 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
>contrast to the
> real world
>
>
>--
>Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday!!!


pls answer me if u like this ...and i appreciate if u want anything to add in it...

thanks for reading....hope u are freshened...!!!!!

intruder... :borg:

Thanks for the light relief!

Heh. That was good. I liked #9 best.

That was kool. I like it.:)

how about...

AO absorbs 25 times its own weight in excess reality.

nice post. humor is good for the tired mind. Zzzzzz.....

Enjoyable read keep up the fuuny work.:thumbsup:

hey thanks a lot everybody for reading this and responding me positively...

thanks a lot.....

just pushing this thread on top ..so that all of them can read this.....and fresh'n' up their minds....

intruder... :borg:

up up up up uuuuuuuuuup....just pushing it ...

intruder....:borg:

Thank's for laugh I likie 20 the best:)

hey thank u sooo much for the appreciation ..thor...
i am really thankful to u...that u liked my thread..

thanks a lot...

intruder... :borg:

You're welcome man keep posting:thumbsup:

Good work Intruder, though I know u're real name;)

Here's another one! not as good as u'res , but hope people wud like it, unless ofcourse they've already read it somewhere!
Daily Moments of Zen !!!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me for I may not follow. Do not walk
beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to
do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you
aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others.

9. It is far more impressive when others discover your
good qualities without your help.

10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.

11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you
criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.

12. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.

13. Don't squat with your spurs on.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.

15. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

16. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windshield.

17. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

18. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot
of that comes from bad judgment.

19. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.

20. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of
a rain dance.

21. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

22. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side &
a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

23. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

24. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.

25. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.


26. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Courtesy:- not me!!

:p

:thumbsup: I love 23 its so true. Good reading these are great fun.

hey that was great pooja...really great

keep it up...i really loved it...thanks for the delight...

intruder.. :borg:

Thanx for the appreciation!!:)
I personally like the 6th and the 17th point.:p
and 26 (for people other than myself):p

wtf is this ****? Have I stumbled into happyland?

Your jokes aren't funny, just OLD.

Qu. What's the difference between a cop with a speed camera, and going down on a woman?

Ans. When going down on a woman, you can see the **** behind the bush.


*sMickers*

I tried to refrain from posting in this forum.. I really did.. But crap...

for your understanding this is all a computer geek needs to keep him/her happy.


a mate that understands that the computer comes before them. OR.. A mate that is in the computer field then which he or she may be equal to the pc.

A pirated copy of all the latest software.

One good laptop

Three good Desktops

A home network.

Broadband Internet Access

Linux (latest build)

and did I mention the latest copies of 2600?

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett
wtf is this ****? Have I stumbled into happyland?

Your jokes aren't funny, just OLD.

Qu. What's the difference between a cop with a speed camera, and going down on a woman?

Ans. When going down on a woman, you can see the **** behind the bush.


*sMickers*

---

and u thot this was funny?? We(intruder and i) know that these are old jokes but we also know that because they're old they might have been forgotton!
this was just an attempt to make people feel a lil' light with clean stuff!clean stuff! :rolleyes:

I agree with you pooja the jokes maybe a little old but at least they are fun. Theres enough bs out there why do some feel that a little clean humor doesnt belong here . I for one am glad that there are posts like this. I hope others follow suit and post more like these.

Thanx lostit! Thanx for u're support! heres another one, "somewhat" latest ! Don't worry its the last post of its kind , from me, at least, on this thead!

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest.
They were looking for people to submit quotes from
their real life Dilbert-type managers.

Here are the Top Ten finalists:
1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to
access the building using individual security cards.
Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees
will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at
Microsoft Corp. inRedmond, WA.)

2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown
problems we might encounter."
Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information
or data. It should be used only for company
business."
Accounting manager, Electric BoatCompany)

4. "This project is so important, we can't let things
that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)


5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
schedule."
(Plant manager, Delco Corporation)

6. No one will believe you solved this problem in one
day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go
act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when
it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M
Corp.)

7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people
doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

8. My sister passed away and her funeral was
scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she
died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on
the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we
could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That
would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

9. We know that communication is a problem, but the
company is not going to discuss it with the
employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report
to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked
him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I
wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow
to ask for it!"
(Hallmark Cards executive)
Thanx for u're patience!:p

hey pooja that was great ...and also a great answer to that piece of ****....forposting that joke....

thanks a lot for appreciation .... and support..

intruder... :borg:

Did you really just refer to me as a piece of ****, you two-bit worthless ****?

Refrain from the use of profanity in future, what ~would~ your mother think?!

tsk tsk...

Hey guys. . . if you want to post something offensive, please use the hide post function that JP has added. Its there for a reason. Not just for your health. There are a lot of younger kids that come here that dont need to be reading your $h17 ES. . . so lay off. K?

you'd be surprised... the young ones are not nearly as innocent as you might think.

I know that ES. . . but still. Please use the hide post function. Thats what JP put it there for. :) Thanks.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett
Did you really just refer to me as a piece of ****, you two-bit worthless ****?

Refrain from the use of profanity in future, what ~would~ your mother think?!

tsk tsk...

---

and what does YOUR mother think??:o

I don't know. Why don't you ask her?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett
I don't know. Why don't you ask her? [/QUOTE

She won't tell me......
perhaps she's 2 pissed with u 2 answer anyone else!!:p

hey
Funny ass stuff Im still laughing. maybe because some is true.

> 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for
>natural stupidity.

This is the best I think





but like always here is mine.
Dont look before you leap, It will ruin the suprise.:D

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Eating_Scarlett
Did you really just refer to me as a piece of ****, you two-bit worthless ****?

Refrain from the use of profanity in future, what ~would~ your mother think?!

tsk tsk...

---

hey hey man...ES i did not refer to you man as a piece of ****...so pls don't feel bad...and i tried to make u all people laugh by posting this post..and see that u all are fighting.....

pls don't fight ..instead...enjoy the post..and laugh everybody...

thank u...

intruder...:borg:

Hey Intruder,

Don't take any notice of what Eating_Scarlett says, she doesn't mean it and loves you really.
But she craves attention, so you have to put up with her rants every now and again.

It's like one big love in on this forum today.:hippy:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Ghost_25inf


but like always here is mine.
Dont look before you leap, It will ruin the suprise.:D

---

hey man ghost this one is really nice....good..

intruder.. :borg:

Oh, for the love of God..

stop acting like such a bunch of sissys.