"Windas 98"

Got this in an email and just thought that I would share it with you.


WINDOWS 98 BROOKLYN, New York Edition


Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands.

Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start da program, insteada da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da team from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:
* - Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."
* - My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."
* - The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."
* - Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."
* - Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."
* - Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."
* - Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.
* - Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."
* - Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up.


CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:

OK.............Sure ting
Cancel.......Fugetaboutit
Reset..........Start Ova
Yes.............Yeah
No...............Naaaaaah
Find............Put a contract out on
Browse.......Get a looksee
Back...........U toin
Help...........(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help)
Stop............Knock it off
Start............Move it!
Settings.......Dese are da rules

Also note dat any voice recognishin software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION platform don't recognize da letta "R."
Some programs and udder accesseries dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa................A word processin' program
Printa...............Printer
Calculata.........Calculator
Solitare............Seven Card Stud

*** We regret any inconvenience dis may have caused if you received a copy udda BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. If yous got a problem wit dat? Fugettaboutit!!

BILL ("4 eyes") GATES

I love it man, quite funny!

Funny. Hey, I watch the sopranos, and that all sounds like something tony soprano's computer would say...!!!

Here was another :D

Both of those are really funny:bigsmile:

heres a funny related pic--base on a person from newcastle englands accent

very funny, Casper. ........Start Ova...hehehehe

heres one thats like the Brooklyn edition of windoze, except this is one for Australia

hehehe, all of em are great, i think im gonna rename my programs and such to the "brooklyn edition" for a good laugh :D

thought you guys might like this one too.

How to tell if your computer hates you.:D

Ah, man some good stuff there! Thanx ppl for that humour.

Thanx for the good comments.:)

Anybody else have any good jokes or emails please post them here.

Here is one more.

Tech Support: "I need you to reight click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to wirte 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Where's the any key on my puter, it's true I have been asked this very question..

Nice stuff Casper! ;)

good stuff....hehehe...im still laughing......

hahhaa keep it up :)

[list=1][*]I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut of the profits therefrom.[*]Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack.[*]Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that much space anyway.[*]Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all, it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other things that might make thy computer useful.[*]Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that character is located on a computer keyboard is right out.[*]Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust is not allowed.[*]Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible with things created in the latter half of this century. But you can still run WordStar 1.0.[*]Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe three years ago regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he stands over you demanding proof.[*]Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of the directory tree, either.[*]Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.[/list=1]

[WebCarnage]: That was pretty good.

Thanks for all the good comments.

I got a joke for you:

What do you get when you spank Windows with a monkey???

Great stuff! All the pics and jokes are great. Keep it up!

1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted
then used against you.

12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

13. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

14. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

15. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

16. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
blamed it on the cost of living.

17. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

18. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

19. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

20. You can't have everything, where would you put it?

21. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.

22. The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by
those who got there first.

23. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

24. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

25. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

26. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

27. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

28. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

LOL :)

I like this thread!

A good site to find lots of funny tech-support stories:

http://www.vendetta.org/