Found this from another forum. I thought I'd share with you guys. This is one of the most funniest webpages out there.
Enjoy!
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Found this from another forum. I thought I'd share with you guys. This is one of the most funniest webpages out there.
Enjoy!
Dear God!
I couldn't even finish reading that!
That went from hilarious to frightening to paranoid. I've read some of the books listed. I spend over half an hour on the computer a day. Gee that must mean I'm a hacker trying to attack everyone. And oh yeah. The Bonzi Buddy link comes with KaZaA...anyone who dl's KaZaA is a hacker!
Woah...this cannot be serious. Please tell me that this is just the product of one of the messed up minds in another forum because they can't even spell Linux.
BTW, thanks for the link AutoBaud. That was [frightening] comic relief to last an hour.
That's funny! You have to read the comments.
I want to print out the whole thing (with comments) for bathroom reading.
"BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone."
lmao hahahahaha!!! dis is da part dat really crack me up!! hahahah
This is just too funny, though I seriously hope this was a joke. Otherwise, there is someone incredibly stupid, paranoid, and misinformed out there. This I have to save.
hehehehohoho.....
Hmm
yes it is real. some humans can be that stupid.
and people can be led to believe false accusations. that is how racist bigots operate.
OK that has to be the funniest **** I ever heard, did you guys see how many replys there were at the bottom of the page most of them said "**** YOU STUPID MORON" lol, that's funny ****. My bathroom could deffinatley use some good reading.
I think the funniest was the Linux and the AMD processor. New Hardware. I need to change from AOL mom! lol
That was hillarious.
This is hilareous, and yes one should print out the comments to leave in the bathroom for reading material!!!! This sounds like my mother! She screamed at me that I didn't know what the hell i was doing when i unplugged her computer and forgot to plug it back in... this will be forwarded anonymously to her, hehe.
Hil Freakin Larious!
um.....lets not show this to my parents;)
ahahahahahah thats ****in hilarious
#1-this guy is the biggest idiot and most over protective father ever.
#2- why does it have to be a boy... it's all about if "your son"
#3- "AMD" disables hacking security feature HAHAHA!
#4- and i quote "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"."
this is the funniest **** ever.... i can't even go on..... laughter over taking me.... <gasp>
HAHAHAHAHA!Hey i think i found a new exploit in my CD player and im stealing Mp3's as we speak!:D
This has to be one of the funniest **** i've ever seen!
Great post:D
-5150-
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. How can this guy be so incredibly wrong? I did a search, and this is the only thing that he's written. First day? Probably. Last day? Only if his boss knows anything ANYTHING A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!! about computers. I hope he is laughed into quitting.
Woooooo boy...I knew I was in for a ride in the first two seconds of reading:
Heh.Quote:
As a part of our patriotic duty to this great nation of ours, we are currently installing a certain, classified module to our proprietary, closed-source web serving system
Anyway...this thing is too good! Seriously, if anyone hasn't read it...DO IT! Print this out and highlight all the funny parts; it's better then a microsoft press conference!
"A computer hacker in my own House?!"
rotflmao
Now, just a word on all 10 of the serious points risen by this wonderful article.
Yes, anyone who realizes AOL sucks MUST be an evil h4x0r!Quote:
1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
Oh my god! A power rangers screensaver! Little Billy is a hacker!Quote:
2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
(Be sure to check out his list of evil hacker software, such as Flash)
"Dad, can we get a cd-drive? Everyone uses them now."Quote:
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
"Timmy, you evil hacker! NO!"
Actually, this is a VERY funny part, be sure to check out his rant on the Evils of "Extra Memory" and "AMD"(Apparently a terrorist company)
OK, this one makes a LITTLE sense, except for his bizarre little aside about his seventeen year old daughter sneaking out wearing, of all things, PERFUME!Quote:
4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
Apparently spending more then half an hour on any given computer in one day means you are "DOSing" websites and being an evil hacker. It's apparently your civic duty to kick your kid off the comp...Quote:
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
"No Timmy, I don't care about your damn English project! It's been a full 35 minutes!"
I need say nothing but quote the article here...and point out the author apparently has the IQ OF A WET NOODLEQuote:
6. Does your son use Quake?
"It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms"
Is your kid going through puberty? HE'S AN EVIL HACKER! (Note - females are NEVER hackers)Quote:
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
Yes, Lunix, the terrible system used to wreak worldwide havok.Quote:
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
This one is good. Apparently ravers are just wannabe hackers. Since hackers often wear "bright, day-glo colors", "carry glowsticks" and "wear pacifiers". Damn you hackers going to your hacker parties and doing E and dancing around to evil hacker music!Quote:
9. Has your son radically changed his appearance
Yes...as we all know, the ones who do bad in school are the hackers. *cough, whistle, look around*Quote:
10. Is your son struggling academically?
Well, there you have it. Apparently every teenager in america is an evil hacker...BEWARE!
-Grim
:borg:
i just thought i'd clarify this for anyone who doesnt know. the reason that ravers wear pacifiers is that one of the side-effects of E is that you tend to clench your jaw...this is kinda annoying if you have nothing to chew on.Quote:
Originally posted by GrimMan
This one is good. Apparently ravers are just wannabe hackers. Since hackers often wear "bright, day-glo colors", "carry glowsticks" and "wear pacifiers". Damn you hackers going to your hacker parties and doing E and dancing around to evil hacker music!
also, from the article:
jesus freakin christ...not another f'n guy who thinks that computer games make you shoot people. if anyone would like i can write out about 4 pages of reasons that that is a stupid f'n statement. anyway, i just LOVE how he talks about how quake is only used by hackers, because, as everyone knows, all gamers are evil hackers out to destroy the world with their "illegal" amd processors and the evil soviet hacker program stolen from stuff microsoft wrote for the us gov.Quote:
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
i wish i could meet this guy so i could beat some brains into him...i wonder what kind of "research" he did into hacking that led him to believe that bad grades = hacker...
also, aside from the linux part and the hacking manual's he is describing a young gamer who is going through puberty and rebeling a bit...
Far too bad that helpdeskfunnies or computerstupidities.com are not out there anymore... that would be the perfect post for those sites for sure.
I'm actually laughing too damn hard at his ignorance to post anything really worthwhile, but I thought I'd put something up.
I laughed my ass off reading this, but if you think about it. make a list of questions to ask grown ups regarding hackers/computers and see what they answer. They don't know ****.
it is very funny:D thankz AutoBaud for your entertainment you give us.Quote:
Originally posted by AutoBaud
Found this from another forum. I thought I'd share with you guys. This is one of the most funniest webpages out there.
Enjoy!
that cant be real, no way.hahaha
That **** is the funnest **** since I read some of phantom2k threads.
lol
Please tell me that this is a joke. Noboday could possibly be this idiotic. My mother knows more about computers than this guy, if this is a real post.
....cept possibly me, if I could spell nobody correctly, I might be dangerous.
In all seriousness I do think that this article is a joke. If the man can get on to post a lengthy article complete with hyperlinks to various sites, he must know enough to realize that Quake is not a virtual hacking machine. Just my opinion. But man, was that a funny read.
:P
I didn't like the part that said :
AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops
I bet that mini-van driving guy buys Nike shoes and Pakistani made soccer balls for his two little brats.
Just so everyone knows... this was a message (probably written by one of Adequacy.com's editors) to provoke a response.
It's kind of funny though that the "Hacker" community is all up in arms over it. If anyone had bothered to poke around the site a bit, you would have seen that they had a poll prior to this message, voting on what Internet group they were going to **** with next. I guess Hackers beat out the Trekkies by a slim margin.
Did anyone else figure out it was the Brday Bunch? Wife Carol, Six kids, Daughter Cindy, Son Peter....
Ah, man that was some long read!
now doesn't that just steam you up.... these people shouldn't mess around with the hacker community.... it's just not right (nor safe)Quote:
It's kind of funny though that the "Hacker" community is all up in arms over it. If anyone had bothered to poke around the site a bit, you would have seen that they had a poll prior to this message, voting on what Internet group they were going to **** with next. I guess Hackers beat out the Trekkies by a slim margin. Did anyone else figure out it was the Brday Bunch? Wife Carol, Six kids, Daughter Cindy, Son Peter....
but i think one of the funniest lines from the whole article was that with "lunix" a hacker can steal songs from your stereo using a program called "mp3s".... scary stuff.... i feel so violated
Hehe, "I'm a hacker now daddy".
Jesus Christ, I feel like going over to that house and hitting that dad over the head with my laptop. Yeah...show him MY harddrive. Lol, the part about the Russian programmer 'inventing a deadly program called telnet'...that just set me off. And the Linux part. Holy Jesus of Nazereth. "Can only be taken out by a professional. :rofl:
GREAT POST!!!!
I forgot to thank you, AutoBaud, for this hilarious post...so again, thanks, heheheh...I'm STILL laughing my ass off
And yeah, whoever said this was just to get a response...that's clear, but the sad thing is there ARE people out there who think this way.
I took a poll and apparently every person in all of my classes, including my profs, are evil 3l337 h4x0rz! Beware!
-Grim
:borg:
I find it hard to believe that this is serious. Every bit of information in the article was incorrect, except maybe the LILO boot, which of course can be uninstalled if your child is a HACKER! If it is true, it frightens me that such stupidity and ignorance about the hacker culture is out there.
Here are some more things to look out for:
Have you seen your child reading any books other than the bible?
Does your child often use the term "freaking" ?(a word meaning to enjoy pornography)
Do you catch your child listening to any radio other than Rush Limbaugh?
Have you observed your child attempting to "upgrade"?(a term meaning to participate in illegal online sexual activities)
Does your child ask for a mobile phone, the tool of choice for the pornographic freaking?
Look out for the number one sign of the "Lunix" program, which is satan in a jacket.
God gave us Bill Gates to protect our children from the slime that others claim to be personal freedom.
Ah man this thread cracks me up!
;)
:confused:
THIS IS ****ING UNBELIVABLE I AM GONA PISS MY PANTS :p
Oh my god my son is an hacker !!!:rolleyes:
ok, this is annoying me.
for all those who say "this guy is stupid", etc etc, if you goto some of those hyperlinks you will realise the site IS a joke. it is not real. he is not ignorant. God it is so annoying looking at people complain about the articles 'inaccuracy'.
cheers,
Zenith.
Is the link to that article still available? I can't get to the link or even ping the server that it resides on, 66.180.229.40? I think that a quake playing, pink haired, irritated, young juvenile hacked their web server....ha ha
Same here. site won't come up