Funny Jokes.

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under a car's hood. For a male:
The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self
emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts
and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly
taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured
makes ''look bigger.'' Male: what you slap when someone's scored a
touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a
family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or
book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of
digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and
male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a
couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end
up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one
TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels
every three minutes.



CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.This
time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more
amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained
to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The
judge asked the man (about 20) what he had to say for himself. The man
replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I
couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat
under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Slogan's Liniment will reduce
the swelling" and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign
that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain
myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a
sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident...I just
lost it." "CASE DISMISSED"


What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?


















Bubblegum (what were you thinking?)

LMAO, That second joke killed me LMAO, At least it didnt say Firestone ;) :D

As a female, I would like to point out that thingy has many many more definitions than that. It is indeed any thing under the hood of my car. It is also the tools my husband uses fix stuff. And most parts used in fixing the bathroom so it doesn't leak (anything in the bathroom that leaks!) There are quite a few more uses for that word...but my six year old son also uses it when he is talking about his little pee pee....
lol....see how useful one word can be? :D
Also, I agree, the second joke was hysterical!

LoL! Those definitions are so true, that's what makes them funny. The second joke had me crackin up though...Good jokes!

Quote:

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Originally posted here by debwalin
As a female, I would like to point out that thingy has many many more definitions than that.

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being a female as well I agree with debwalin...beside I do know some of the names of things under the car hood.... otherwise the jokes were funny

Mouse pad
-That´s jes hippie talk fer where the mouse lives.

It´s an old pic and it´s big but also damn funny.

Can also be found on lotsa pages if you want to put less preassure on the AO server.

Pooh-Bear=> Maybe old, but I had never seen it....had to get up off the floor before I could type this though....fell out of my chair laughing about halfway through!! :D

Happy to oblige :D

:D that pic is very funny i had never seen it either i espially liked the "Megehertz" and the "Hard Drive" :D

hahaha sweet jokes ... what do you do with 365 used rubbers? .. make them into a tire and call it a GoodYear.. goodyear, firestone whatever they all pop when they hit a deep hole lol. dont even know how i found this post im looking for the post on flash animation ha. well anyway this is something you all should see also http://www.joecartoon.com i dont know whats worse the fact that this guy has so much time on his hands or that i spend about the same amount of time enjoying this great site . keep a close eye on your hamster, you'll never know when it will enact its revenge upon you.. :0)

Exactly what I needed, I'm sick (Like 40 in fever)

Thought I would bring this out of the archives one last time for a good laugh