Net Relationships

Ive never ever heard anyone make a post on net relationships so i figured itd be sumthing fun to talk about.


Ive had many net relationships and none of them have ever worked out, Many people ive known have figured it out that net relationships are basicly a waste of time... Its like picking a girl or guy up in a strip bar... ;)

My questions are simple and interesting... feel free to answer them or take the poll or both..

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?
Did you ever engage in cyber sex?
Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?
Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?
Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?
Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?
Are you in a net relationship now?
Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?


DISCLAMER: Thanx if you participate and rember this is the cosmos forums and we ask everyone to be mature here on this touchy subject!

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Ive had many net relationships and none of them have ever worked out...

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- Need I say more?..

The extent of any relationship Ive ever had online is friendship. Ive met so many people since I started chatting on the internet 7 years ago, but in the back of my head there is always the thought that when you are online, you are a completely different person than in real life. Myself in real life, Im a quiet person, I dont have too many friends and Im scared that people will reject me based on outward appearance alone. The truth is that people reject me for that reason all the time. Online however, Im important, I speak loudly, and people listen, no one can reject me on appearances because they cant see me. People in the antionline irc have indeed asked to speak to me on the phone before, or meet me in real life, but you have to realize that you won't be talking to ThePreacher, you will be talking to Anthony Gayden, a guy completely different from what you expect. So no, there will never be any online relationships in my future.

hmmm interesting and quite ahm... controversial subject! first off, my answers....


Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?
>>>Typically I'm not a looks driven type guy so no <<<

Did you ever engage in cyber sex?
>>>Yes I have<<<

Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?
>>>Hmmm not sure about this one, I happen to chat online with someone whom I do love and talk about it all the time... but that relationship has been established prior to chatting online<<<

Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?
>>>eh, arent most people either geeks or losers? no seriously the "net" has changed much in the last 4-8 years, so no.... its pretty much an "everyone" thing now.

Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?
>>>yes I have, but only by special request<<<

Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?
>>>yup, but phone and cybersex suck... besides who has the time?<<<

Are you in a net relationship now?
>>>No<<<

Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?
>>>Theres really no point in regretting anything, we grow up waiting to have the ability to make decisions for ourselves... why cant we deal with making bad ones now and then? (this aplies to pretty much everything obviously, not just net relationships)

Now, an odd thing about net relationships..... anytime there is anonymity involved there is danger, regardless of whether it starts on or off the net. IMHO, the net is simply another means of communication, much like a phone call or a letter... just a bit faster in delivery and more convenient at times. I will recommend to anyone who is weary of who they are meeting to get all the facts, and if need be... run a background check (I typically dont do this with relationships but moreso with business contacts). good place to start is www.knowx.com, there are a few more out there so do a google search!

just my two cents...

I'm currently in a relationship on the net... i've been with this person for 2 years... we have are ups & downs like any relationship... we haven't met or spoken on the phone yet but i do keep an open mind on the relationship and i realise that in real life we may be completely different than what we are on the net, thus totally wrong for each other... but things are great with how it is right now so i'm not going to ruin that just cos people say it wont work out, cos you just never know til you give it a try

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?
>>Yes

Did you ever engage in cyber sex?
>>Yes

Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?
>>I love tons of people, only few were female and like that ;) *PS none were male like that lol*

Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?
>>Yes and no

Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?
>>Yes but i recived many more then i gave *webcams are addictive*

Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?
>>Ive had phone sex with 4 diff females that i met online

Are you in a net relationship now?
>>Not boyfriend and girlfriend, no

Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?
>>Regret only what others did

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive? No
Did you ever engage in cyber sex? Yes
Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online? Don't think so
Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers? No
Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others? No
Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online? Yes
Are you in a net relationship now? Kinda
Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all? Yes

I don't regret any relationship I was ever in. Some I am not proud of, but they are all learning experiences. I actually have a couple of friends in Lansing that got married from a net relationship. My current girlfriend I have known IRL for a long time, but due to the distance away she lives, it is almost like a net relationship....

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Originally posted here by NetSyn
Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?

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No.

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Did you ever engage in cyber sex?

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No. CSEX is for nerds to get their rocks off, and to me is offensive. Well, there was once, but that was a buddy of mine trying to clear a chat channel when I was 16, and was really sick and disgusting, and hardly counts. :D

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Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?

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Nope, and 0.

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Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?

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No, I believe 'net relationships' are a joke, and not for anyone.

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Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?

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Nope, I wouldn't want to scare them. :p

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Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?

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No.

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Are you in a net relationship now?

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No.

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Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?

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No, when I was younger I tried, and realised the impersonality of it all, and that online relationships couldn't foster a love and understanding the way knowing someone face to face or in person can.

The ONLY thing that I think 'net relationships have going for them is that people communicate more. People aren't as afraid to be honest online because "hey, it's just a bunch of electrons, it's not a real person on the other end." A lot of people have that mentality, and maybe it's a good thing in a 'net relationship. A couple should talk and know all that they can about each other when they're in a relationship. I'm lucky to be able to do that without text, but with words. I know a lot of others are too scared/unwilling/hesitant to take that route, so an online relationship is an out.

I personally never take people seriously when they say they're in an online relationship. I've watched several of my younger friends try and have serious 'net relationships, and they always turn into an episode of some soap opera or another. It's quite melodramatic, and quite sickening to a rational-minded person. Or well, maybe just to me.

Now don't get me wrong, people meeting online, and then hooking up face to face is cool, because that shows you're both willing to commit to trying to take the relationship to the next level. It's when people have a relationship that starts and ends purely over the 'net that I think is stupid.

Just my $0.02(CDN).

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive? NO

Did you ever engage in cyber sex? NO
Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online? YES, just 2
Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers? NO
Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others? YES
Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online? NO
Are you in a net relationship now? YES

Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all? NO
so, anyway am currently in a NetRelationship right now, so iwish it works out well and fine.
Anyway, she lives in the States and am planning to go see her in about 3 weeks time, if things works out fine and well for me!
May God help me(amen)

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive? (No. However, if the girl was really attractive don't you think she would have a real relationship offline? I could see this happening when the girl just needs someone to talk to. Although, the picture could have been of the girl you are talking to "Friend, Cousin, Classmate")

Did you ever engage in cyber sex? (No, I would be afraid I'm talking to a 30 y/o male. However, I don't care what anyone says "Men "& women" Masturbate". If I have to the urge to masturbate, I usually try to free up my hands for what is intended. or if I need I may click on wetcircle.com and scroll through the pictures.)

Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online? (Only Loved Them Online??????) if so, No....

Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers? (I believe if two people were in a relationship, went to college in two different states, and wanted a cheaper relationship that talking on the phone every night a Net Relationship is reasonable. To base a relationship off a net relationship is kind of lame. You guys just have to build up your self esteem, and go after what you want."

Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others? (Well, not because I was in a net relationship. I was drunk, and it was a dare.)

Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online? (I don't think so, but would be interested in trying free phone sex with someone that knew what they were doing. However, again. I like visual stimulation.)

Are you in a net relationship now? (No, Can't say that I am)

Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all? (No,)


By The Way........ I AM IN LOVE WITH MY COMPUTER..... DOES THAT COUNT?

I've tried an online relationship but didn't work, and wasn't very exciting or anything like that, didn't work, and cybering isn't my thing.

I met one of my ex's kat online. We were buddies on the evil AOL for a long time. Eventually we met and we went out for some time. Though the biggest issue was that she lived 3 hours away. Like all long distance relationships it failed. However, I met at least 3 people at my local highschool through AIM and are still friends with them. I met about 2 other people that I am no longer friends with. Seeing that my highschool had 4000 people I probaly would not have met them otherwise.

Although I think online relationships can be beneficial, unless you actually meet the person, I don't tend to get worked up if someone online hates me. That saying, if Negative deciDed to hate me I would not lose sleep, because he lives across the sea, someplace I will probaly never be!

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?
LMAO.. haha once.. or twice

Did you ever engage in cyber sex?
ermm yes.. how many times? i dun keep track..

Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online? eecchh.. ermm once i guess..

Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers? not really..

Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others? LMAO never! not me! tho i did show ma arse to someone before..

Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online? LOL few times..

Are you in a net relationship now? nope.. too busy with OTHER things...

Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all? ermm i had few regrets tho none of em worked out coz im still single right now..

The most I ever had online was casual "friends" that would talk about things such as work, kids, computers and other things like that. Over the years, the number of friends dwindled due to lack of interest and because I had other things to do than worry about them. However, my wife did have a friend on MSN Gaming Zone where she held this person to the highest regard until they had a gigantic argument and they never spoke since... in fact, my wife never chatted again, lol.

To me, (like Louie said) online relationships are just that; you will most likely never meet them, and if they get mad, never wanna speak to you again and the like, oh well. I figure this is the Internet, and I usually assume the other person is not who they say they are and leave it at that.

Trust no one...

It is so funny how everyone views this subject differently. I am still sticking w/ my answers. In the previous post.

... after a recent post I got slammed with a reddie by someone who followed up by saying "this is a computer and network security site and if I wanted to talk about life to go somewhere else" ...... LOL

Well this must be that "somewhere else" they were talking about.

For the record I was happily married prior to getting on the net and as such never entertained the idea of a relationship online ... no need.

Happiness is where you find it and if it happens to online - good for you.

Enjoyed some of the replies ....

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?
No
Did you ever engage in cyber sex?
No, I don't understand the point in it
Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?
No
Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?
I believe it's to each their own
Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?
*LOL* No.
Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?
No, but I've talked to plenty of people online via phone
Are you in a net relationship now?
No
Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?
I don't regret any of them. I've had three, one with a guy in Holland, who I finally met, learned Dutch along the way...we're the best of friends now...another with a guy in India, who I never met, but we're still great friends, we write snail mail all the time and send eachother things, and one with a guy who ended up living five minutes from me...and it ended up being the most intense...fly by night romance I ever experienced in my life. Things didn't work out because of the net in that last relationship, we took it completely away from the internet...it didn't work because I couldn't commit to him due to my schedule....

Love was only expressed in the last relationship...but it was past the internet facade, so I didn't categorize it as telling someone I loved them over the net.

First I can answer all of the questions easily because like a previous poster none of my on-line relationships are for anything other than friendship. In this regard it doesn't matter to me if they are male or female.

This is accentuated by the fact that I am married in RL.

However the points made here are very important for people to realize. On-line and off-line personalities are often quite different. However, this normally is true if the person is reserved off-line they can be very forthright and open on-line. I am very open both off and on-line. My main attraction to on-line dealings is to help people. Most contacts are in my favorite on-line game (Anarchy Online) and most stay within that context.

The Friendships I have developed there are fun but can never be as deep, to me, as RL. Similarly were I single I do not think that I could develop a deep enough relationship from on-line sources to have that grow into "love". It would first have to transition from virtual to actual world first.

Having said that I have never regretted making friends on-line, I get to meet more people, from more places, and learn much about them. So while I would tend to advise against on-line romance I would strongly advise that people seek out and enjoy on-line friendships.

Ill tell you one thing, Net relationships are the funniest things that i have ever done. Not only have i never seen the people with whom i was having the relationship, half the time i told them i was the opposite gender. Pretty comical if you ask me. Now think about it do you really want a relationship with someone who you never look at?????? Nah its all for fun so i made it into a hilarious joke. Definately recommend it to everybody. Start a net relationship with someone and just mess with there head.

All right take it easy

Sex has always been a natural thing, it's changed since people began to use different mediums to do it (for example movies & phone). People are doing it with computers and have been, in the privacy of whereever. Online relationships are as real as any other relationship you make, in cyberspace and in "the real world" you can start off by lying to people and pretending to be someone your not or you can tell the truth, which works out far better for you. The only difference before in the online world and real world would have been the lack of visual communication, but with everyone and their granny in possesion of a webcam, that difference too has been over come. In my opinion, you should treat any online relationship like any other, with respect and blah blah blah (You get the point). Remember cyberspace is not just for geeks and nerds, the medium of the internet is everywhere, just like your movies & phones, so get used to it. Don't stay stuck in your old ways, cause this is the new generation, where technology has taken us and it's here to stay.


PuReExTaCy

I met my current girlfriend on the net over 2 years ago. we live in different states, so it really hard. Growing up I lived in WA state, but now that I'm in college, I live in CA. My girlfriend lives in TX, and is moving to CA at the end of this month to live with me. We've visited eachoter quite a few times, and think it's right to be with eachother.

For anyone who is thinking about an online relationship, take it from me: it's VERY hard. however, I definitely do not regret my online relationship and I think that we stuck with it even though it was hard because we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. And now in less than a month we will be going to college and living a normal life like any couple.

-Nitro-

I think net relationships are the same thing as long distance relationships. I met a girl on the internet that to this day I feel we were 100% compatible. Actually fell in love with the girl. But because of the distance between us it didn't work. I need a relationship with some kind of real actual interaction, going out to dinner, going to the movies, just hanging out, and of course the intimate physical aspect. The phone and internet just doesn't cut it for me.

I think by meeting someone through the net you get to know the real them, and that is what attracts you to them. Which is great because the norm is usually based on looks and then getting to know the person. A net relationship is the exact opposite. Person first, then looks. Distance kills though. It really sucks meeting someone who you think can truely be your soul mate, but they live across the country.

I've never had an online relationship, other than finding it a great way to make friends outside of the ones you would normally have. It's nice when you're married, you can meet people who have interests specific to you, and other friends than the ones you and your spouse "share." I have actually met a lot of the people that I am friends with online, mostly because I was seeking out a women's group in the area I live in. We all meet once a month, it's sort of like Oprah's book club without Oprah. We all read the same book, then meet once a month at a bookstore/coffeeshop, spend about 20 minutes discussing the book, and then about 2 1/2 hours discussing the rest of our lives. It's really neat, b/c we email each other regularly, and all met online before we met IRL.
I do have a friend who is in a VERY serious relationship with someone she met online, but I don't know if it really counts, cause they met on AOL, found out they lived within about 20 miles of each other, and decided to meet, which pretty much ended the online part of their relationship. Although as he is in the Navy, and gone a lot, they still keep up the email portion of their relationship, because it's the only contact they have when he's gone. They are moving in together when he gets back this time, and it seems to have worked out really good for them.

Deb :D

P.S. I also know a woman who just got married to some guy from the Netherlands that she had never met until he arrived here a week before the wedding. They met online. I don't know her very well, and to tell you the truth, I don't see this marriage lasting long at all....it just seems too weird.

I think it's pretty easy to fall for people online because words have power, and you make them mean what you want; you can read into what people write to mean whatever you'd most like it to mean, and imagine the attitude that goes with it. Having made a point of studying writing styles compared with speaking styles of people who are my mates IRL but also chat via IMs, I've noticed huge differences in presentation, so bearing that in mind it's hard for me to believe that the way people present online is the way they do IRL.

That said, there are several people I've met online whom I'll never ever forget because you can address personal issues in a much less confrontational way, so you get to hear some really uncensored and often amazing opinions and ideas. I love how people are uninhibited online, life would be so much simpler if everyone was like that IRL! I've had a lot of online crushes, people who I would always be writing to and chatting to, but never anything where we actually decided to be a couple. I've never really gotten how cybersex works, I saw Lawnmower Man when I was a kid and for years thought it meant that! Lol...I guess it could be an easy way to get off, but never with strangers. And I think I'm devoid of that drive anyway, I have a counsellor to teach me to understand flirting, I find it all so weird, I just like people so much that I feel like sex detracts from the identity...This isn't a criticism of anyone who thinks otherwise btw, just explaining my rationale. However, I think that net relationships are great precisely because I'm so obsessed with openness and honesty, and it's a great way to get to know someone without awkwardness; I've met loads of really safe people online who are my good friends IRL now. I'm sure the same could be said for loving relationships, but I dunno, I've never had much luck! :P

XXX

Well, I will add my 2 cents worth. I met my b/f online and we've been together for almost 10 years now. Heck, we'll probably be buying a house in the next few years. We ran a business together, geek together and game together (although I tend to curse more than he does when we play.. ROFL.. )

Greetings:

I met my partner online, and we've been living together for 4 years now.

I like to think of meeting people on the internet as an easy way of expanding your search radius, heh.

Indeed.. I have met my internet partner 6 years ago and we are buying a house in two years! That must mean something so net relationships can work out for the better.

I can definitely agree to the idea that people tend to be less guarded online than they are in real life. You can hide (not necessarily in a bad way) behind text. You don't need to worry about body language, a stain on your shirt, or even any quircky and seemingly humungous point-based bacteriological inflammatory acne event, code named ZIT. Whether this really helps people ("You're not the kind of outspoken person I married!") or not, I don't know.

It is true that people can be more truthful online, and it's true that some online relationships work, but it is entirely more likely that they wont, the answer to every one of the questions for me at least is no. Although I've had and have good friends that I met online and we do talk to eachother face to face with webcams we have never thought that we were "in love" and in the future we may meet IRL but for now we're content to talk online since a couple of them live acround the world.

Another point I'd like to make is that the 'net used to be made up of "geeks" and "losers" but now everybody is online and that generalization is often made of anybody that spends much time on a computer. That's unfair to many of us and although theres lots of pale scrawny people, mainly guys that sit around all day on a computer, not all are.

Can't say I've had any "relationship" beyond a little bit of flirting.... and a little bit of porn (I'll admit it).

I think it's funny to hear people rant about how technology is driving humans apart. In fact, I used to feel that way, too, but I talk to my good friends all the time on my cell phone 'cause I always have it and I get free long distance. Also, I've met some great people online just because it's so much easier to find out you have some similar interests. Going to a bar can be more impersonal and more unhealthy than chatting with someone online.

It might not have been something other people would have noticed, but I always felt a little out-of-place before I started using the internet. The experiences I've had online have made me much more of a complete and centered person, so that I'm able to bring more to any relationship, whether it's online or off, romantic or otherwise.

i never had any net relationship. unless you count keeping in touch w/old friends you have moved on to different states and countries.

but in any romantic relationship, either net or in person, is worth the effort. sometimes seeing your partner everyday can wear you down just as much as distance can. basically all relationships require some sort of work. my aunt met her present husband on line. obviously that has worked out. they even run a very succesful business together.

just one question: is the object of a net relationship to find a person that give good mind? :D

Guess this is where ya get a pro's opinion.

Yes, I have met chicks online.
Yes, I married her 3 years after we met online.
Yes, I had one child (who is 3 now) with her.
Yes, I got divorced.

No, I will never do it again.

Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive? NO, because perhaps we shared common ups and downs, YES
Did you ever engage in cyber sex? YES
Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online? Lust is best. Love takes time NO
Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers? NEVER It starts with a look, a word, something in common, a bad day and someone there to help.
Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others? Why sure, but only in return of the same.
Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online? I think, need a more in depth thing here. Before, during or after we met? During, YES.
Are you in a net relationship now? Kinda, i will always be a seeker.
Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all? Not yet.
We all need to reach out at times for help. Sometimes it's a hug from mom, a talk with a sister. sometimes it's someone chating that has a common problem. No matter were or when, there will always be a time we all need to bond.

no there not worth anything, there a away for people that are afraid of the oputside world to "pretend" ot have a social life, and interact with people in a healthy way. Relationships are not susposed to be built on the image you get from a personby talking to them online... people are MUCH different in person... Online you are able to hide many things about yourself, and even [pretend to be another person.

i wil lsay though, it is a good way to MEET prespective people....but thats about it.. it shoudlent be used to fuel a relationship... meet a person online, idealy in your own town, and then meet them in person.... dont let it be somehting thats jsut online... how will you know if there someone you can get along with on a regular basis...iof you only talk to them online.. and dont get to go places with them...

in my eyes its useless if yo ucant go see a damned movie or something.

Well I had a kind of "network relationship".

My ex-girlfriend works in Munich, I work in Hamburg and so we mostly communicated
over email, icq and phone but it doesnt work :(

We met in real live, we loved in real live but in real live it also died.

Network relationships are somewhat for dreamers I think.
It doesnt work, Im very sorry about it but it just doesnt work :(

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My questions are simple and interesting... feel free to answer them or take the poll or both..

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I think I will do both.......

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Did you ever have a net relationship just cause the person was sexually attractive?

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Of course, males tend to like things physical rather than emotional (most males, me included)

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Did you ever engage in cyber sex?

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Yes

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Did you ever tell someone only you loved them like that, and how many different people have u told that to online?

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No

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Do you belive net relationships are for geeks and losers?

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Yes, but why should geeks and losers have all the fun?

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Did you ever send naked or revealing pictures of urself online to others?

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Yes (pretty good if I do say so myself)

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Did you ever engage in phone sex with a person you met online?

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Yes (local of course)

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Are you in a net relationship now?

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No

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Did a net relationship ever work out to the point that u didnt regret it at all?

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Yes

Summary is life is to have fun. To experience life you must first live life. That means not restricting your wants or desires based on what you think people will say or think about you. It is your life to live, otherwise you would have a remote control to someone else's.

If it feels good do it, if it still feels good do it again.

Nuff said.

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Originally posted here by Fakeboy
I AM IN LOVE WITH MY COMPUTER..... DOES THAT COUNT?

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I have never had a Net Relationship, just a relationship we used the net to conversate through instead of a phone conversation while we were working. Although, I could relate to FakeBoy's comment.... :)

I have not had a sexual relationship on the net but have met some of the best friends of my life. We still chat, email, snail mail and call each other after 4 years. I have not been fortunate enough to meet any of them. I live rather far from them all.

It is nice to know that some ppl on the net have made successess of their relationships. Truly nice to see. Everyone I know had their net relationship turn into disaster for some reason.

Perhaps the same reasons their "real" relationships turned into disaster? I don't know.

Some ppl look for love on the net because they are lacking in self confidence and the anomynity is what they need. Others just sort of fall into it. Geeks and losers? I don't feel anyone is a geek, and losers are losers not because of anything to do with computers and the net, but because their personality dictates it.

Net relationship are not different than real ones.
There are multiple variations in a real relationaship as well in a Net relationship.
It is the person that makes or helps the routing of the realtionship and not the media or where it is done.
Humans are the most important part of this matter, but of course the context is important., but not before the humans.
So the net is the media, we the people are the humans.
Jorge