A link to the story
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/...p?story=346248
Now I highly doubt the credibility of the story. What do you think? Personally I don't agree with it. :rolleyes:
Printable View
A link to the story
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/...p?story=346248
Now I highly doubt the credibility of the story. What do you think? Personally I don't agree with it. :rolleyes:
A link to the story
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/...p?story=346248
Now I highly doubt the credibility of the story. What do you think? Personally I don't agree with it. :rolleyes:
The link between these two character traits is tenuous at best. As mentioned in the last two paragraphs, it could be for a variety of reasons - it's not like going out and losing your virginity at 15 will automatically make you less stressed later in life.
Studies like this often make some exaggerated claims or conclusions to entice people into reading the article, when in reality the validity of the claims is entirely debateable. JMHO
The link between these two character traits is tenuous at best. As mentioned in the last two paragraphs, it could be for a variety of reasons - it's not like going out and losing your virginity at 15 will automatically make you less stressed later in life.
Studies like this often make some exaggerated claims or conclusions to entice people into reading the article, when in reality the validity of the claims is entirely debateable. JMHO
IMO Sex is something you should have when you feel ready for it. It should not be bound to any age as long as its legal and both are ready for it.. I will not deny fact, sex is good against stress and many other things but as everything else it also have a dark side.. If you not are ready or are forced into something you dont like, it will make you more stressed.
Hmm deep words for an early morning (atleast quite early in Finland), I better go back to work again :).
~micael
IMO Sex is something you should have when you feel ready for it. It should not be bound to any age as long as its legal and both are ready for it.. I will not deny fact, sex is good against stress and many other things but as everything else it also have a dark side.. If you not are ready or are forced into something you dont like, it will make you more stressed.
Hmm deep words for an early morning (atleast quite early in Finland), I better go back to work again :).
~micael
micael ... i agree with u 100% .... when the time comes for that ... things will come by its own ... don't rush dont push ....
u might be not ready ....
micael ... i agree with u 100% .... when the time comes for that ... things will come by its own ... don't rush dont push ....
u might be not ready ....
well it certainly helped me...
it is interesting that this story was written by a man telling women that they should have sex earlier. can we say sicko?
well it certainly helped me...
it is interesting that this story was written by a man telling women that they should have sex earlier. can we say sicko?
I agree with micael and bimmer. You should have sex when you are ready, not based on someone else's view of what age is "appropriate"
I agree with micael and bimmer. You should have sex when you are ready, not based on someone else's view of what age is "appropriate"
The article doenset even begin to touch the negative side effects that can come from sex: unwanted pregnancy, STDs, guilt and other emotional problems. All of those can lead to lots of stress. Actually having sex at an older age is probably better, becasue hopefully you have a more mature view of it, which plays a very big part. All in all, the idea is intresting, but doesnt float very well.
The article doenset even begin to touch the negative side effects that can come from sex: unwanted pregnancy, STDs, guilt and other emotional problems. All of those can lead to lots of stress. Actually having sex at an older age is probably better, becasue hopefully you have a more mature view of it, which plays a very big part. All in all, the idea is intresting, but doesnt float very well.
I'd like someone to tell that crap to my mom who had 2 kids by the time she was 17 and another when she was 20.You call that a reduction of stress?
I'd like someone to tell that crap to my mom who had 2 kids by the time she was 17 and another when she was 20.You call that a reduction of stress?
I have to agree more with Syini666 that waiting awhile is definitely better.
A number of you have said wait until you are ready. I think that is the first step. It is very detrimental psychologically (and this has been shown in numerous studies) if sex is forced upon you before you are ready. Even if this is merely through coercion and not something more sinister like rape or molestation.
However, even when you "feel" you are ready you probably are not. Most 15-18 year olds think they are ready. Most 30+ understand that they weren't at that age. The complexity and nature of interpersonal relationships changes entirely when sex enters the mix. This has nothing to do with the other "dangers" mentioned such as pregnancy, AIDS, and STD's. In the proper context this addition is not a problem but a bonus. At an early age though it can add tremendous amounts of stress to a person.
I am not nearly as worried about the adult as the adolescent. I remember my teen years when what my friends thought was more important to me than what my parents thought and sometimes more than what I thought. When I felt "out" it was depressing and hard to deal with. When I was "in" everything was better. To add further complication to this already overly complicated time just does not seem wise to me.
So although it should not be tied to an age or time I certainly think it is safe to say that we are not good judges of our own readiness for many experiences. I guess that is why I decided to wait until I got married to have sex and while I may be more stressed now for waiting I have never regretted the decision.
BTW, just to stay on topic I agree that the article seems to be more hype than substance but the headline would certainly have drawn me to read it so it achieved its purpose.
I have to agree more with Syini666 that waiting awhile is definitely better.
A number of you have said wait until you are ready. I think that is the first step. It is very detrimental psychologically (and this has been shown in numerous studies) if sex is forced upon you before you are ready. Even if this is merely through coercion and not something more sinister like rape or molestation.
However, even when you "feel" you are ready you probably are not. Most 15-18 year olds think they are ready. Most 30+ understand that they weren't at that age. The complexity and nature of interpersonal relationships changes entirely when sex enters the mix. This has nothing to do with the other "dangers" mentioned such as pregnancy, AIDS, and STD's. In the proper context this addition is not a problem but a bonus. At an early age though it can add tremendous amounts of stress to a person.
I am not nearly as worried about the adult as the adolescent. I remember my teen years when what my friends thought was more important to me than what my parents thought and sometimes more than what I thought. When I felt "out" it was depressing and hard to deal with. When I was "in" everything was better. To add further complication to this already overly complicated time just does not seem wise to me.
So although it should not be tied to an age or time I certainly think it is safe to say that we are not good judges of our own readiness for many experiences. I guess that is why I decided to wait until I got married to have sex and while I may be more stressed now for waiting I have never regretted the decision.
BTW, just to stay on topic I agree that the article seems to be more hype than substance but the headline would certainly have drawn me to read it so it achieved its purpose.
hey i approve with bimmer and micale let the time come and we would be stress realeased.anyways those articles are pure gossip to attract readers mind.i think so???
hey i approve with bimmer and micale let the time come and we would be stress realeased.anyways those articles are pure gossip to attract readers mind.i think so???
How is someone without a clue what being ready is, supposed to know when they are?
Out side of the obvious negative aspects which can never happen to them, obviously. How about the emotional trauma one experiences with young sexual relationships? When you have sex with someone you care about, you bond with them totally, or at least one side does. Then comes the inevitable "lose of a loved one", a bottomless hole in your being that seems like it'll never heal. The younger one is, the more times this is likely to happen. It doesn’t take too many times before ones emotions become hardened, there buy making all of life seem hard. In loosing ones innocence the brighter side of life goes with it.
How is someone without a clue what being ready is, supposed to know when they are?
Out side of the obvious negative aspects which can never happen to them, obviously. How about the emotional trauma one experiences with young sexual relationships? When you have sex with someone you care about, you bond with them totally, or at least one side does. Then comes the inevitable "lose of a loved one", a bottomless hole in your being that seems like it'll never heal. The younger one is, the more times this is likely to happen. It doesn’t take too many times before ones emotions become hardened, there buy making all of life seem hard. In loosing ones innocence the brighter side of life goes with it.
Tedob1, I at one point would have agreed 100% with your post. I still agree with your question about know when one is ready. But, the rest my oppinion has changed on.
The hardening of heart is a defense against and not a response to. After one gets burned enough times, they hesitate ever to reach out again. This is simply illogical, by knowing the past we cannot predict the future. It is simply human weakness, we all feel this way, just some are better at fighting it than others... If it were a response to getting burned, the effects would be un-removable, no one would be able to get better, it would be like a little emotional-odometer, so much mileage and your engine just ceazes forever, which is how it most definately feels.
For a considerable amount of time, I was miserable, then I realized that I was just in highschool so it was supposed to be miserable. Then I got to college and nearly had a breakdown, at which point I realized that I was still holding onto the past far too firmly. Now I am about to leave college, and I wonder how I will deal in France for a year, and then in the possible 5-7 years until I have a PhD. I think I will deal a whole lot better than I did.
Of course, I say this, and then recieve an e-mail from someone from my past which I thought had welded my heart shut and then thrown it in a blast furnace... Digital karma???
Lifes to short to mull over past sufferings, instead of moving on.
So I am completely purplexed about what to say to her..., the reference about her British boyfriend leaves a sour taste in my mouth... One would think that someone would be happier seeing as he has a girl already anyway, so why is a love from 5 to 2 years and 1 year ago stressing him out.
Anyway, gotta go. Oh and about that article, it is a rather spurious correlation to say that the younger the loss of virginity the less stress. It would be more likely to look at it from a social perspective and say that the forces that bring one to have sex at a young age are the same ones that lead to a less stressful life style. Of course, were they testing people from agricultural sectors where younger marriages are typical? Or just white middle-class where keeping ones viriginity is seriously a confusing issue, as most things lead one to want to lose their virginity, but a large majority of society is pushing one not to.
The study is sloppy in my oppinion.
Ciao,
Dhej
Tedob1, I at one point would have agreed 100% with your post. I still agree with your question about know when one is ready. But, the rest my oppinion has changed on.
The hardening of heart is a defense against and not a response to. After one gets burned enough times, they hesitate ever to reach out again. This is simply illogical, by knowing the past we cannot predict the future. It is simply human weakness, we all feel this way, just some are better at fighting it than others... If it were a response to getting burned, the effects would be un-removable, no one would be able to get better, it would be like a little emotional-odometer, so much mileage and your engine just ceazes forever, which is how it most definately feels.
For a considerable amount of time, I was miserable, then I realized that I was just in highschool so it was supposed to be miserable. Then I got to college and nearly had a breakdown, at which point I realized that I was still holding onto the past far too firmly. Now I am about to leave college, and I wonder how I will deal in France for a year, and then in the possible 5-7 years until I have a PhD. I think I will deal a whole lot better than I did.
Of course, I say this, and then recieve an e-mail from someone from my past which I thought had welded my heart shut and then thrown it in a blast furnace... Digital karma???
Lifes to short to mull over past sufferings, instead of moving on.
So I am completely purplexed about what to say to her..., the reference about her British boyfriend leaves a sour taste in my mouth... One would think that someone would be happier seeing as he has a girl already anyway, so why is a love from 5 to 2 years and 1 year ago stressing him out.
Anyway, gotta go. Oh and about that article, it is a rather spurious correlation to say that the younger the loss of virginity the less stress. It would be more likely to look at it from a social perspective and say that the forces that bring one to have sex at a young age are the same ones that lead to a less stressful life style. Of course, were they testing people from agricultural sectors where younger marriages are typical? Or just white middle-class where keeping ones viriginity is seriously a confusing issue, as most things lead one to want to lose their virginity, but a large majority of society is pushing one not to.
The study is sloppy in my oppinion.
Ciao,
Dhej