UN-survey (humor?)

Although this is meant to be humorous, I still think there's a lot of truth in it...

Quote:

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Last month, the UN conducted a world-wide inquiry, asking only one question:
"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions for the food-scarcity in the rest of the world?'

The survey turned out to be one giant failure:

In Africa, they didn't know what 'food' meant.

In Eastern-Europe, they didn't know what 'honest' meant.

In Western-Europe, they didn't know what 'scarcity' meant.

In China, they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.

In Southern America, they didn't know what 'please' meant.

And in the US, they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

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:D

:rofl: whaddya talking about Negative? Of course we love the rest of world.

That's pretty funny. I like the punchline.

This brings up an interesting issue.... After the "war in Iraq" should the U.S. pull all of it's troops out of U.N. "peace-keeping" missions around the world? I say, without hesitation, yes.

This question probably deserves it's own thread but I'm too lazy to start another thread....

hahahahhahahahahahahhaahhahah

F@#ing hilarious but true

we are ignorant, but who is gonna challenge it??????


blah


mllm

haha.. Very very humerous...


This reminds me of another joke which I received by email.

Now for all of you non-Canadians.. we had a commercial a while back for Molson Canadian Beer... that tried to play on the patrioticness of Canadians.. The original comercial was this.

Quote:

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I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

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This was redone for several other nationalities, but the one that sticks out the most is the American one.. I have bolded the section which this thread reminded me of.

Quote:

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I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

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Anyways yeah.. this is meant as a joke... mostly :D heh

Quote:

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Originally posted here by HTRegz
haha.. Very very humerous...


This reminds me of another joke which I received by email.

Now for all of you non-Canadians.. we had a commercial a while back for Molson Canadian Beer... that tried to play on the patrioticness of Canadians.. The original comercial was this.



This was redone for several other nationalities, but the one that sticks out the most is the American one.. I have bolded the section which this thread reminded me of.



Anyways yeah.. this is meant as a joke... mostly :D heh

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So you concur that the U.S. should pull it's troops out of all of the U.N.peacekeeping missions? I mean, the U.N. shouldn't be seen dead with the likes of the U.S. and it's military..... ignorant as we are.

Quote:

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Originally posted here by KorpDeath
This brings up an interesting issue.... After the "war in Iraq" should the U.S. pull all of it's troops out of U.N. "peace-keeping" missions around the world?

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Yeah why not. They probably gonna need them in one of their "war-starting" missions. Hell, why keep peace when it's som much more fun to start another war?

Quote:

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Originally posted here by proactive

Yeah why not. They probably gonna need them in one of their "war-starting" missions. Hell, why keep peace when it's som much more fun to start another war?

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I concur... why should we waste our military on interests that do not serve us. Why should we foot the majority of the U.N. bill when the U.N. doesn't back up it's own words. Abolish the U.N., it serves no purpose.

For God's sake the leader of the human rights arm of the U.N. is Syria. Qadaffy Duck (I know I spelled it wrong) is not the best person to have as leader of the human rights arm, but I guess oil does give you ability to pull strings in the U.N., doesn't it?

The U.N. is an instrument that is used by it's members....now let me ask you....who has the vast majority of seats in the U.N.?

The obvious may miss you, but the truth won't. :D

Quote:

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I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

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Dhat's why wee R THE only superpower in the SOLAR SYSTEM..... learn from US or us
Land of Free and Home of Brave or you can say it other way around, it means the same and it means we can break the english to the way we please and refuse to use as rest of the world use it. Still the number one and super power. Any ProblemS?


Here is couple of light jokes

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer
for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good
trade."

----

In Canada there are two Seasons...six months of winter and six months of
poor snowmobiling.

Quote:

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And in the US, they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

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Lets find out if the quoted statement is really true:
http://www.rethinkingschools.org/jus...s/mapgame.html

I knew 8 before I tried this, how many can you get right on your first try?

28 out of 35 on the first try. got most on the second, and a few on the third. world geo was a long time ago.

Quote:

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Originally posted here by KorpDeath
That's pretty funny. I like the punchline.

This brings up an interesting issue.... After the "war in Iraq" should the U.S. pull all of it's troops out of U.N. "peace-keeping" missions around the world? I say, without hesitation, yes.

This question probably deserves it's own thread but I'm too lazy to start another thread....

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Well already they are a couple o' billion dollars in areas in payments to the UN. Anyway, the US doesn't have the best reputation at Peacekeeping, they are fine at the Peacemaking* missions but keeping the peace requires a little more delicacy, diplomacy and dedication.

* Don't you just love that term? Peacemaking through killing most of the opposition.

Quote:

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Originally posted here by Vigge


Lets find out if the quoted statement is really true:
http://www.rethinkingschools.org/jus...s/mapgame.html

I knew 8 before I tried this, how many can you get right on your first try?

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I had to learn all the countrys of the world a few days ago with their capitals... I forgot the capitals, but I had all of that thing correct. I only swapped turkmenistan and uzbekistan. In the netherlands, everyone has to learn this. We even learn in the US they don't learn this (so I mean not everyone here, for the not so bright light people). I think you could ask any dutchman to agree on that, it's just a fact. Fits in the survey again.

Quote:

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Originally posted here by Jupes


Well already they are a couple o' billion dollars in areas in payments to the UN. Anyway, the US doesn't have the best reputation at Peacekeeping, they are fine at the Peacemaking* missions but keeping the peace requires a little more delicacy, diplomacy and dedication.

* Don't you just love that term? Peacemaking through killing most of the opposition.

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That funny that you say that. I don't see ANY other country ponying up the cash and resources to go on these "peacekeeping" missions for the U.N., do you?

I'm sick of the int'l community and the bleeding hearts (funny the only time they are bleeding hearts is when their money is on the line) "peace activists", et al.

I'm all for the U.S. becoming isolationists once again. (I realize that's not going to happen because terrorists "woke the sleeping giant"... again, but I'd be fine if we were.) The int'l community bitched when we didn't get involved and they'll bitch when we do get involved. It's about time someone showed them for the losers they are.

On another note- So I hear the Russians have been spying for Saddam's regime, the same people they sought to oust in the 80's. I don't hear the int'l community bitching about that, Oh, I know why they aren't bitching, cause Russia is on THEIR side of the world.......... Somethings are just too simple. :D

P.S I got all but four on Vigge's geography test and it's been 13 years since I studied that. hehehe
:D

Quote:

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Originally posted by KorpDeath
I don't see ANY other country ponying up the cash and resources to go on these "peacekeeping" missions for the U.N., do you?

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Yes sir, I do... and so does the
United Nations Department of Peacekeeping. I see 89 countries on that March 2003-list.

This is just for those of you that don't bother to look at the link Neg posted. There are 19 countries on that list that contributed more personnel than the US.... I'm actually disappointed to see that Canada isn't higher, peacekeeping should be a number one priority after internal affairs.

Peacekeeping has a bad rap in the US.

In "peacekeeping" and "containment" we got he crap kicked out of us in Korea, Viet Nam, Beirut....

jeez whenever the US dances on the UN leash the US military gets its clock cleaned.

Whenever the US military gets to run its own plan, it succeeds. Why don't all of those willy-nilly UN patriots provide the "peacekeeping" bodies and the US will provide the funding instead.

I spent 3+ years cruising the Med looking for trouble. After being to Spain, France, Italy, Yugoslavia, Greece, Turkey, Israel, Egypt, Tunisia (and a few other places unofficially) I can tell you that there's a reason Europe is referred to as the "Old World". I saw the most backward and socially repressed people that I'd ever seen. I saw the most polluted waters and saw the worst living conditions.

The US may not be the best place to live ( I say this knowing that we could improve our country) but compared to the other choices in the world... I'll stay put.

Dave

You list only one country that is in what is referred to as "The Old Europe" (France).
Yugoslavia? Not European. Turkey? Israel? Egypt? Tunisia? Most of them are not in the Mediteranean area, and definitely not European.

What is referred to as "The Old Europe" is WESTERN Europe. Here's a nice link to study the living standards in "The Old Europe". Your statement would be like me stating that you Americans don't even have television because I just saw a documentary on the Amish (whose origins are "Old European", but hey...).

Quote:

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Originally posted here by Negative


Yes sir, I do... and so does the
United Nations Department of Peacekeeping. I see 89 countries on that March 2003-list.

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For one month......March of 2003. Good example.

Negative,

Maybe something was lost in the translation. I would like to think Spain, Italy, France and Greece were part of Europe. Yugoslavia doesn't exist as Yugoslavia anymore, but it wasn't in Asia, most maps would show it as Europe. Turkey I could place in Middle Asia. Those and the rest of the countries I listed are indeed on the Mediterranean Sea.

The standards of living I remember were discovered by experiencing the culture of the area. Talking to the people who live there. In the case of Italy, actually living with the local residents. The CIA fact book lets me know who has TVs, radios, phones and levels of education etc etc. Hardly a substitute for being there. Things have changed in those countries since I left the area in 1984, I'm sure.

dont base intelligence on "education level" before i even started college or finished high school i won arguements with pharmacists. (i used that example because to become a pharmacist you need how many years of school? lol).

"I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!! "

Why is it when people think america they think alabama? for goodness sakes man i live in the northern US, theres no marry your sister **** here. that starts ends and stops around "bama" as the people iv met from there call it.
cant we just agree that no country is perfect? the US has a huge crime rate and red necks making us look like dick heads and then theres the driving......

ok i live in Michigan, in my state you learn to drive well or you die, simple, if you dont think so hop on a free way and go to detroit. iv been to canada, alot. they come here alot to play in wal mart, or as i call it the red neck mall.

i dont fit in with any stereo types really, i can actually drive, im smart but i admit i make mistakes, and im against war, drug laws, and drinking and driving, i also quit drinking, (if you wanna be a ***** about it im Irish, so quitting drinking should be ohhhh so hard for me huh ;/ )

i like the fact that in this country i can find a job easy and also i have the CHOICE to go to school, not begging for it, im very happy about that, im also proud of this country for the fact that if you do actually put something into life you can get help, my IQ is 146 and i go to college 100% free, i dont even have to pay for books and i actually get money while im going as long as my grades are above average, now thats a good part.

Im also German so if you wanna stereotype that i have a temper but im smart and i "should" love beer right? well like i said i quit drinking....i dont stereo type many people because its not right, if you wanna do that to me i dont care i wont get mad but ill sure as hell argue if i disagree, im German/ Irish/ and Scottish (tiny bit scottish, mostly irish and German though) so if you put that togther you get a drunk with a temper right? lol ok im done rambling. :)

Heh... It was meant as a joke gore.... nothing else... I have a lot of repect for the majority of the Americans on this board, however there seem to be a lot of red neck war mongers around here.....

As for the stereotype everyone has of Americans... blame your media.... Street Smarts.. Every seen that show?? They take "average" Americans off the streets and ask them rather simple questions.... they hardly ever answer them correctly.. How about your reality TV shows like Survivor..... I think they deliberately pick people that have no clue about the wilderness.... Take a few Canadians and put them on the show, or Americans from Northern Michigan, Wisconsin or anywhere around there... and then you'd see how it's done... For some reason your television stations like to portray stupid Americans.. why else would they show Cops like 10 times a day (ok an exageration, but not by much)...

As far as your college being free, congrats on that... too bad it's not the same here.... My IQ is 152 and they gave me $750 (and an $8000 loan that i have to pay back with interest)... Although when it comes to post-secondary education.. both the US and Canada have it wrong.... We should follow in Germany's footsteps (and i believe other European countries do the same)....... No Tuition..

As one last point.. I would never base intelligence on "education level"... I always hated that during school and still hate it now.... I know more than my profs, yet i'm paying them to be there and then I have to go and re-explain everything to the class because no one understood the wrong information they were "taught"...

Quote:

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Originally posted by KorpDeath
For one month......March of 2003. Good example.

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What month, starting from September 2000 up to March 2003, would you use as an example where you "don't see ANY other country ponying up the cash and resources to go on peacekeeping missions"? There are some 89 other countries on each list...

Edit: Such a good reply, and I SCREWED UP THE URL! Jeebus Korp ;)
Thanks Neel. That's the one.

404 - page can't be found. I'll try again later.

Try this: http://www.un.org/Depts/dpko/dpko/contributors/ and click any you like

Quote:

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Originally posted here by neel


I had to learn all the countrys of the world a few days ago with their capitals... I forgot the capitals, but I had all of that thing correct. I only swapped turkmenistan and uzbekistan. In the netherlands, everyone has to learn this. We even learn in the US they don't learn this (so I mean not everyone here, for the not so bright light people). I think you could ask any dutchman to agree on that, it's just a fact. Fits in the survey again.

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umm i live in america(the south even) and i had to learn it, the calss was 5 years ago and i must admitt, i havent thought of turkmenistan and uzbekistan since i passed the test, but i did learn about them. as does every one who goes to my hs seeing as it is a required course at my school, and i think the state of texas as well.