Something to offend everyone
I know at least one joke in here will offend you, it's up to you to tell me which one, okay?
Here we go!
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?....Juan on Juan.
What is a Yankee?.....The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?..... The
position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?.....Because it's worth it.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?.......One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?.......Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex?......Because it's no big deal unless you're not
getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?.....A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?.......Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?.....45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?......45 minutes.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?......None, they just sit
there in the dark and bitch.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?......Through his chest with a sharp
knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?.......They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?....Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?...... After a
year, the dog is still excited to see you.
That makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?......The same
urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
biggest boobs?.....The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?.....Because they have
cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW(or Mercedes)?.....A porcupine has the
*****s on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?..... "Are you
sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?..... Beer Nuts are $1
and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?..... Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?.....Everyone has the same
DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?......Breasts don't have
eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?.....He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?........Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the
Sex Ed class uses it.
:D
I needed that after the way this week is going. Cheers!
